Thursday, March 31, 2011

Because I am one of those people who only posts cutesy kids stuff.

And I am ok with that, really.

* The other day we went past the infamous restaurant H, double o, you probably can figure out the rest. It seems that emergent readers just can't resist sounding out the letters of the bright orange sign. Biki immediately sounded it out and asked, "Mom, what's H ** #@&$?" Oh Bik, it isn't an appropriate place. "Is it for kids?" No. "Is it for adults?" No. "Who is it for?" No one should go there, Bik. It isn't appropriate. "Well, who is it for?" "Jerks" said her big brother, who sounded out the same word about a year and a half ago. Lest you think anything at all get past kids.

*Beanie asked the other day, "Mom, how did God make himself?" He didn't Biki. He's always been here. "Well, who made God?" Nobody made God, he's always been. "WHAT THE....?" she replied.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Let the dreams begin....

Psycho pregnancy dreams have begun in earnest. We're talking crazy stuff. Weird fights between P and I about stuff that never happened but I wake up in the middle of the night mad as a hornet. Then there was the one with an acquaintance at church adopting 10 children from New Orleans. And our Vietnamese associate pastor carrying twin boys, blond with blue eyes, in one Baby B.jorn. The weirdest thing about all this is that I remember these things vividly. Don't tick me off anytime soon I might end up doing something awful to you in my dreams. Bwah hah hah hah haaa.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Not getting it....

The Momo edition.

*CRASH! BANG! "Not me! Not me!" says Momo before I even have time to ask who did what.

*She got ashes today. She gave the poor woman a dirty look after the deed but said nothing. We got back to the pew and she promptly went into my purse, got out a wipe and wiped off her forhead multiple times. Once she wiped it clean she gave me a dirty look and smirked as if to say, "I showed you people!"

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


Dear Snobby Overpriced Chain Women's Clothing Store,

We used to have a good relationship. I would go to you and spend a lot of money and you didn't mind that I brought my kids. In fact, you had a kids bench with toys and books in your dressing room. But now the price of an embellished t-shirt has risen to $40 bucks, yes forty bucks, and my kids are no longer welcome. Don't think I don't notice that no one greets me when I walk into your store with a toddler even though there is no one else there. Or that no one, once, speaks to me or asks me if I need help the whole time I am there. OR, to make matters worse, you did greet and help other people who came in after me. I heard your online maternity line is cute, but you guys must really not get your demographic if you are going to treat mothers like dirt in the store. I will go elsewhere thank you very much.

That is all.

Thursday, March 3, 2011


Some awesome audio... because you know we don't do pictures on this blog!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Let me ' it is too much. Let me sum up.

In the past week:

*The car got stolen because there are bad people AND I am an idiot who leaves spare keys in the glove box.

*The car came back to us after being rifled through and driven across town.

*I had to go down to the county police complex and spring my car. Brought the two little girls and was waiting around reading signs like "We accept s*x offenders on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays for Processing. No s*x offenders on Tuesdays and Thursdays." It was Wednesday. I was scared. The girls couldn't understand why I was so cross. "Get right over here and sit next to me. NOW!"

*I had my locks rekeyed in the house.

*I had to tell the locksmith "I know it looks like my house was ransacked, but it wasn't. It has just been a bad week."

*I haven't folded a single piece of laundry. Every day we just rifle through it looking for what we need. I wonder if there is therapy for this.

*I told me husband we had to announce number 5's pending arrival because wearing fat pants is not cutting it. "Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking like a fool with my pants on the ground." I need to bust out maternity clothes a full 7 months before the due date. Wowsers.

*Have had all 3 big kids come up to me, stick their faces in front of my stomach and talk to the baby. It's real cute and you realize how excited they are.

*My son is ecstatic at the prospect of a *possible* brother. Every time he sees me, he comes up and greets his "little friend" as he call him/her.