Saturday, April 30, 2011

The Limits of Christian Charity?!?!

Let's face it. People are quite rude, I am quite rude, my children can be quite rude. Usually, I try to grin and bear it and think the best when someone snorts at me in the grocery line or harrumphs in church. But lately, I have been tested in ways I never thought possible.

Why? My burgeoning belly has begun to elicit the most ridiculous and rude comments and inquiries imaginable, particularly when I am out with my entire brood. I guess even down here in the South where 4 children is fairly socially acceptable 5 somehow surpasses the bounds of decency and they forget all about those manners their mommas drilled into them. Admittedly, my hormone surge makes me a little more ornery than normal. To quote a beloved cousin in law's term, I am a "grumpy pregnant woman." And perhaps, oh just perhaps, there's a tad bit of trepidation concerning the pending expansion of our family and my belly. BUT COME ON PEOPLE! THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK! If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. I generally answer something like, "Oh hahahaha, my husband and I are both from big families and we know what we are getting into!" or "We'll see what God gives us." But those answers don't satisfy people. They seriously want numbers, ages, college savings account balances. It is out of control.

It has really gotten to the point that I have had to contemplate that being "truly pro-life" means not slugging or killing the next person that asks me if I am "done." I know, deep down, that most of these people don't mean to be rude, they are just generally curious about it, like we're a circus sideshow or something. It is really the comments from fellow churchgoers that get me the most.

So, in the event I lose the ability to control myself here's my plan on how to answer these constant inquiries. My options:

a)Quote my friend's husband and say, "We'll stop when we get an ugly one!" That's the nice, funny answer that totally avoids the issue.

b)Quote my aunt's friend with a comment like, "Well, gosh, I don't know. How many do you think I should have??" and then stare at them blankly. And then if they still don't get it ask them exactly why they stopped at (insert number here) and if they were done. Sadly, I don't think throwing the question back at them would really get my point across.

c)Tell them I am single handily trying to save Social Security by increasing the number of future workers.

c)Get a belly tattoo with the quote "responsible parenthood is exercised, either by the deliberate and generous decision to raise a numerous family, or by the decision, made for grave (serious? You duke it out!) motives and with due respect for the moral law, to avoid for the time being, or even for an indeterminate period, a new birth" from 10th paragraph of Humanae Vitae which I will then flash at people when they ask me about my future plans. I will then remark, "this is how we are living responsible parenthood" and add a really charitable "Take that you nazi cow!" (Did I mention this is really, really getting to me?)


The Boring Blogger said...

You are so funny!!! My vote is for option "a"!!!!

Mrs. Henderson said...

I'm sorry, M!
I can relate from the other side of things.
I was just telling my husband how I feel like people judge us when they find out how long we have been married and that we don't have any children. Or how I hate when people ask us when we are going to start trying for kids. Really? Is it really their business?
I so badly want to say- "No, we aren't acting like good Catholics and then really popping those birth control pills- we ARE trying."
It has been such a lesson of humility for me. Ugh. Don't you wish people would think before they speak!
I think you should tell them that now you have your basketball team, so you are thinking of going for a soccer team!
Prayers for you!

:o) mg said...

I used to get comments from my own mother, "Haven't you figured out what causes that?"
"I'm gonna get your husband a vasectomy as a Christmas present."

Oh yes she did.

Hang on, though, because although you have awhile, by the time you are staring down the barrel of "mid 40's" you won't give a rat's a$$ what these idiots say. I promise.

The way I figure it, Jesus died for their callousness/stupidity just the same as he died for my indiscretions, so I forgive them despite the fact that they have no idea they even needed to ask for my forgiveness.

And by the way I LOVE the fact that you are expecting again... your children are incredible!!!!

Sara said...

circus sideshow rang true for me... I feel like once we hit 5, we didn't get the comments as much as the gaping, open-mouthed stares, as if we were indeed a circus sideshow. One time, someone did say our car looked liked a clown car, and they were wondering how many more kids were going to pile out.