- Umm...we are moving. Sometime. When, I don't know. Because we are trying to sell our house. And we put a lot of work into selling it, but it isn't selling. Oh, and did I mention that we are listing it for less than we paid for it? Wrackin' frackin' economy.
(I wish I could say the above was true, but I am fairly certain there are a few Mommy Dearest memoirs in the works.)
2. To complicate matters further, I am now a single parent, because the Colonel is already at our new duty station. Single parenthood isn't for wimps...but sadly, I am a wimp.
3. This is sort of like the deployment, but I have two more kids, including the needy, yet ever smiling, 7 month old who tries to climb stairs and swipe things off of shelves. There are also house showings, soccer, baseball, and May. May is crazytime but at least this is the last day of school. THANK YOU JESUS. (Except can you help with keeping the house clean now that all 5 will be underfoot all day?)
4. The thing about deployments is at least you get more money. (That sounds so callous, but work with me.) And of course being the thrifty gal that I am during the last deployment I put all that extra money to good use. How? I used hazard pay to take the kids out to dinner when I knew I didn't have it in me to be on good behavior in private. I have to be nice in public because there's no yelling at Panera! Sad, but true. But this time, there isn't any extra money and there's that cute 7 month old who turns into a holy terror at the restaurant trying to knock every plate and cup off the table while propelling himself off the highchair along with the three year old who randomly yells one word sentences so loud the twenty somethings on their laptops jump even though they are wearing earbuds. Delivery anyone???
5. Showings are a new experience for me. So new and exciting that I hope I never have to sell another house as long as I live. I totally understand my husband's general agitation when he's taking call. Why? BECAUSE YOU CAN NEVER RELAX. I check my cell phone compulsively looking for my realtor's name to show up on the caller ID. You never know when you are going to get "the call". You know, the one when they say they want to come see your house in exactly 1 hour and you pull a U-turn right there and race home to just put the lights on in your immaculate house. Oh wait, my house is never immaculate for more than 5 minutes when people are actually in it. When you have 5 kids it always take at least an hour to make the house presentable. Every showing is totally insane...cleaning toilets, chucking stuff in laundry baskets, speed vacumning with a babe in arms. I pack all the random stuff in the minvan and drive off drenched in sweat and covered in grime. I am fairly certain I look like I'm either homeless or a hoarder as we tool around town driving slowly through random parking lots. We stop at a park and the van opens up. The children jump out, hair uncombed, clothes dirty (because I ignored them and sent them to play outside while I cleaned my way out and no way was I going to let them back in to make themselves presentable) and people just sort of look and gather their children close. Oh well, this can't last forever.
6. You know things are bad when you see a 2 motorcycle speed trap ahead, envision yourself getting pulled over and literally breaking down in front of the officer "I am so sorry sir, this is just the straw that broke the camel's back" and then ACTUALLY start crying as you drive past the radar gun. That Ponch and Jon duo had no idea how lucky they are they didn't pick me. BTW...No, I'm not pregnant.
7. This is all very whiny, and I am sorry. I just feel like whining. Have no fear though...I am offering up this CRAZY time for many good intentions I promise. Lost jobs, surgeries, health problems, cancer, sick children, crime victims. I can't get over how many horror stories I have heard since this moving saga started. I am convinced God is telling me to get it in gear with this whole communion of saints thing. We're all in this together!
Go see Jen for more!