I am not above this.....

From 12/26:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/comics/babyblues.html

Merry Christmas to all!

We're getting pumped for Baby Jesus' birthday tomorrow! The cake is made and frosted and all the baby Jesuses (I am not exactly sure of the plural of Jesus) are in their beds.

Beanie is eating this up!! To sort of sum up this evening we sang a bunch of religious carols before reading the Gospel stories and inserting Jesus around the house. Well, she loves song because it causes her to dance. So, as we are singing the carols she's spinning and dancing so much that she runs into a side table and knocks off the candle holder. That pretty much sums up the hysteria. She's going to freak out at the stable at church tomorrow!

Coming soon to you...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1235921/Midwives-meltdown-A-NHS-worker-reveals-understaffed-maternity-wards-sinking-chaos.html

A well balanced diet makes you fast!

My Chinese friend always rolls her eyes at the mere mention of Chinese food since it is absolutely nothing like real Chinese food- there are no heavy, heavy sauces etc. and it is mostly vegetables and meat over rice. Anyway, whenever we eat Chinese food I talk about this with the kids and the Conqueror is very interested in the whole concept. Well, we finally found a place that delivers and we had some yesterday. There are actually a ton of fresh vegetables in it with the sauces and I was happily surprised to get some vitamin A and C with my MSG. Anyway, we had leftovers for lunch and the Conqueror was happily eating away. "Mom," he said, "this is really like real Chinese food. There are tons of vegetables in it!! This must be why the ninjas were so good!!" Forget Popeye...we eat vegetables around here so we can be ninjas!

The nurturer

Everyone is enthralled with the nativity set we just put out......getting a head start on the Second Sunday of Advent. Anyway, Biki came in with Mary and Baby Jesus and asked me to figure out how to get Mary to hold baby Jesus....sadly I couldn't make it work, but that's a great idea for someone to make! Biki loves babies, particularly Momo. She will just walk up to her and say, "I love you so much I don't know what to do!!"

Beanisms for fun:

Beanie can you please make the salad (before you are too impressed it just involved cutting open a Cesar salad kit)? "Sure, but can I dance while I am doing it?" Then she danced a few twirls on the way to the fridge.

We were watching some other kids and a movie was put on to preserve sanity. Beanie was watching the movie and another little kid entered the room with one of her toys. She immediately ran to me in the other room, "Hey!!! He's got my top!" To which I replied, "You don't need it, you're watching a movie." The response? "Oh." And she turned and ran back to the movie.

Hmmmm

Cricket Magazines for kids...they have neat looking ones for 6-9 year olds on exploration and science. The problem is do you spend the $ when you aren't really sure if it is what you want. I heard good things on a blog....but is that enough? Have any of you had experience with their magazines?? http://www.cricketmag.com/ProductList.aspx?cat=3

Tastes like chicken....

Momo is in the human vacuum cleaner stage. For being almost 8 months I think her pincher grasp is rather well developed. She teaches me exactly how gross my floors are on an hourly basis. Well this morning she looks rather proud of herself and was munching something while sitting on the floor. She shot me a big smile and I noticed some contraband in her mouth. I swept her mouth and produced a chewed up palmetto bug (no, I haven't gone soft, but you'd call it a palmetto bug instead of a roach if it was in your daughter's mouth too!). YUCK!!

Time to teach the big kids that insects count as choking hazards...they're usually pretty efficient at getting up all the other hazards!

Beanie get yer gun....

Hunting is a topic of conversation around here regularly. Someday we will join the clan on one of the big hunts in Michigan and the kids can't wait. Today Beanie expressed willingness to hunt.

"I can't wait to shoot a little panda bear!!!"

Imagine her jumping up and down clapping her hands together, because that's what she was doing.

Maybe she has some inner angst about all the taxpayer dollars used to bring the pandas to the National Zoo only to have to give them back. Who knows, but I think she truly meant grizzly bear because she was even wearing a San Diego zoo shirt with a panda on it. But now I can't see a little panda bear without busting up laughing. Here's to hoping PETA doesn't google my blog.

Retreat!!!!

MoMo (previously referred to as baby) and I went on a silent retreat this weekend. 7 month olds like to talk a lot, so it wasn't so silent, but hey, I will take what I can get.

Beanie thought I was getting treats the whole time and I had to set her straight.

Anyway, lots of deep thoughts from retreat, but the simplest is a quote from JPII's "Let us Rise up on our Way" book that we listened to during meals, "Saints beget and raise saints." Alrighty then, I'd better get moving!!

The Secret Life of Bean

So today, as all you 6 faithful readers know (don't you?), is the anniversary of the beginning of this blog. But instead of a lengthy piece on how this blog was supposed to be a journal and place for me to write and get ideas ('cause you know 90% of people think 'they've got a book in them') I will give you want you want most...more Beanisms! Besides, everyone is home sick and the baby hasn't slept for days....OK not really but that is what it feels like after 3 nights of baby fevers. And happy veteran's day.....this day has much more meaning for me now.

Without further adieu.....

• "Hey....gimme hand five!" And she sticks her hand out.

• In the bathtub last night......" I have a baby in my tummy. I adopted a baby and now its in my tummy." Really Bean, when is your baby coming? "On the feast day of my birthday!"

• From the backseat on the way to school yesterday morning...."DUDE! Learn to drive!" I am so busted.

You want sour cream with that stent?

When P. is asked about work, it often revolves around "cases," i.e. operations or procedures. I must ask him about them every day and often when he calls. I usually say something like "how did your cases go?"

Anyway, Beanie likes to talk to dad when he calls during the day. It is usually just a few moments, "So hi dad, how is your day? What's going on?" Today was no exception. She got on the phone and this is what I heard:

"Hi dad! How were your cases? (waits for reply) OK so did you eat them?"

Get it? She thought we were talking about "Quesas" our slang term for the ubiquitous (or at least they were until the microwave broke) quesadillas. Maybe you had to be there......

Daylight Savings- A double edged sword

Sure, the kids go to bed early and all but they also get up early!

This morning I was in the shower and I hear outside the curtain, "Mommy, I am bored of sleeping!!" I don't like talking to little people before 7am, even if I am up! Yes, I admit wholeheartedly to being attached to that "me" time!

Allergen Hunter

Beanie was covered in rashes and hives last week so we took her off of dairy, eggs, peanuts, tomatoes, and artificial food coloring. The rash is gone now and hopefully we can bring some of this stuff back soon to see what the culprit is- I miss cooking with my favorite ingredients (no- not Red Dye #5).

Anyway, last night a small rash appeared on Biki, nothing close to what Beanie had and not out of the ordinary for Bik, but Beanie kept insisting that Dad and I look at it. So Bik showed it to P. who remarked, "Yup, looks like you have a rash." Biki's response: "YES! Now I don't have to eat eggs anymore!"

Who knew Parent Teacher conferences were a source of humor in our family?

So I get home from P/T conferences and Biki asks, "So who won?" I wonder what this means on so many levels....I suspect she's a bit competitive like her mom.

And from the Conqueror-
As I wrapped up his conference his sweet southern talking teacher told me she loved all the things that he says in class. God help us! She closed by telling me there was a new a new student in class, Marg-UH-reedda (how Margarita sounded with her accent), and when she announced her name to the class my son announced, "You know, that's a drink too!" : ) I don't think I have even had one all summer!

Hmmm....

I wonder if it works if you don't have cable.....but I know these guys are serious.

http://www.mympowerbox.com/

The video on their site is not for viewing with kids....but you can still check out their site.

Update: You do need cable. It is essentially one big DVR system, but still. I am most intrigued.

This just burns me up.....

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/10/15/hospitals.ban.vbacs/index.html

Rosary, Interrupted

Beanie obviously contemplating the mysteries:

"Did Mary go pee in the potty?"


(I am sorry mom....we do use the word pee around here.)

Stop the PC madness

My kindergartner came home with a paper on firefighters for fire safety week. In it there was a profile of Katrina the firewoman. Give me a break. Why does it have to be a woman? She's lugging all this gear and I have to wonder, are women subject to the same physical standards as men? Probably not, they aren't in the military.

(I will note that spellcheck doesn't have firewoman in its repertroire but fireman is there. Hmmm...maybe somebody should alert them to their inherent bias.)

Just when you thought things were getting heavy around here....

We were having a discussion about education and the pursuit of truth at the brunch table (don't we sound so smart?) and the Conqueror was asked, "What is the truth?" and he replied "That Santa Claus isn't real."

Yes, we will be staying by ourselves for Christmas, don't you worry.

I am a genius.

What to do with a fussy almost 6 month old who wants to be held 24-7? Stick her in her highchair facing the window so she can see her big brother and sisters play in the yard so you can make dinner. (or add stuff to your blog)

Birth Stories gone Bad

Someone just put two and two together about her birth story and I am in for it. The telling of the birth story (sanitized mind you!) has been a longstanding tradition around here and now I am realizing that was a serious mistake. Why? I think you know.

Beanie has realized that her birth story is sensational and since she always loves a good joke she delights in telling it. Repeatedly. At the soccer game, when she randomly picks up my cell phone, in conversing with an older cousin who probably doesn't even know what a birth is, in the grocery store line.

It always goes something like this,

"I am Beanie. (she says her real name) I was born on my mom's baff-room floor. BAH HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!"

The shocked person on the other end usually asks something like "Really??" thinking the kid is pulling their leg because she obviously relishes telling this joke. Depending on the situation I laugh, admit it, or run.

If only it were an inner child.....

Sometimes I just wish I could stifle my inner student government president. I have a knack for taking on volunteering projects that I could do without. But alas, I feel guilty. Some habits die hard.

On the eve of the anniversary of my 29th Birthday....

• I am getting old!
• This whole resurrected body thing at 33 has got me scared.
• My daughter asked me if I was a grown-up and I said "Yes." This is big, because I always used to think that I would be "grown up when...[insert random milestone here]" but I think I have them all covered!!
• I am going to play more offense.

Mars and Venus- Jr. Edition

Overhead in the TV room during ND vs. UofM-

"Touchdown!!! Touchdown!!!" and "What is a holding call?"- the Conqueror

"Daddy, do you know Derek from the 12 Dancing Princesses??"- Beanie
(for the record, I don't think she got an answer.)

A big no-no

Dear Random Catholic Charity that Wants my Money,

Please do not send me Christmas cards in September in an effort to make me feel guilty and send you money. I do feel guilty, guilty that I have actually been thinking about Christmas gifts already. But I am not sending you any money because it is still Ordinary Time and even my mall has the decency not to put up Christmas stuff until at least after Halloween.

Thanks!

Detachment

It has been a little crazy around here as of late. There have been a series of mechanical difficulties around here- cars, showers, garbage disposals, microwaves, Internet, home phone, and ceiling fans are all I can think of off the top of my head.

Anyway, I keep learning how much I don't necessarily need things I once considered essential. Of course, when things return I am more grateful than ever to have them and all, but I suppose it is a good lesson!

There is really no point to this post except to explain where all my extra energy has gone as of late. I am happy to report that my house was really no different after 4 days with no Internet so maybe I don't waste as much time as I feared. Not.

Liar, Liar

I think the person who says it only gets easier after 2 or 3 kids or whatever is a liar. That is all. : )

Adventures of the 2 year old

My daughter is especially rambunctious now that big brother and sister are in school all day. I think she's feeling pretty left out, not a baby, not a big kid at school. She absolutely refuses to attempt to go to the bathroom on the potty, perhaps because she thinks that lets her in on some sort of baby status to still be in diapers? I don't know. But just in case you wanted a glimpse into Beanie world here are a few of the things she's done in the last 3 days:

• Dance around the house singing about being a princess and getting married when she grows up to be Aunt Carol.
• Walk into the room and say, "I love you so much mom!"
• Walk into the room and say, "I don't like Mom and Dad." "Why Beanie?" "Because you get into my face in the middle of the night." I think she was referring to her nighttime visit last evening in which she decided on the H position. The absolute gall. ; )
• Cut her own hair.
• Marker a chair.
• Tell me randomly that she's sorry for past misdeeds "Sorry I markered the dollhouse Mom."
• Try to steal my ipod.
• Eat a pack of gum with her older partner in crime and have the GI issues that go along with that.
• Sing songs to her baby sister, "HI MISS MO!!!!" Read books to her baby sister. Roll her baby sister over and make baby sister cry.
• Repeat that she wants to go back to "her hotel" and take her "black car" (the rental we had) up north to see Charlotte and Sammy. I think she wants to go back on vacation!

Thoughts for the day

• Why is Halloween getting so big? Catalogs arriving in the mail, candy and costumes out and it is over 2 months away? Oh wait, I even saw Christmas stuff today! ARGH.

• Again on Halloween, why do people have to be so twisted about it and try to scare kids? It is like they delight in terrorizing the little people. It reminds of going to our local toy store a while back. There was a guy in a big Curious George mascot outfit waving at kids. My children were not amused, in fact, they were terrified. I kept telling him to go away and telling them, "Don't worry, it is just a guy in a big costume." And then the saleslady kept saying, "Oh no, don't ruin the fun!!" What the???? What is her sick idea of fun. All this being said, we are trying to take back Halloween, I am not giving up on it!

• And lastly on this Feast of St. Augustine here's a quote for us all to ponder, "Do everything in your power to obtain the salvation of those in your family." Strong words. And if anyone can tell me how to balance that with "being in the world, but not of the world" I am all ears! What a fine balancing act it is.

Thanks for the thought!

Every night at bedtime prayers everyone says a litany of saints, each person says their patron saints, i.e. "St. John and St. Paul," and everyone else says "Pray for us."

Sometimes people improvise. So last night Beanie said her regular saints, then put them together as her regular non-blog-coded name, and then went on to say, "St. Mom and St. Meg, Pray for us!"

How quickly we forget....

P. got called into work last night around 1:30am and we haven't seen him since. The kids were all sort of confused as to what was going on. Since we moved south his schedule has been much lighter. (Except for that whole deployment thing!!) More dinners at home, church with us on Sundays, fewer weekend hours. They are sort of confused. The Conqueror kept insisting that Dad would be taking him to get a new tube in his bike when he got home. I kept explaining that he would be too tired, that he'd need a nap etc. and that I would take him. But he kept insisting he would, ending the conversation with, "But you don't know my dad." Oh don't I? I have been around long enough to know the differences between the Dr. Jekyl like "tired P. and rested P" as we jokingly call it. But C is right, P. would take him to the bike store if you asked him, despite being bleary eyed, exhausted and fried. But it is better that we don't ask and just go get it done before he returns, and that's what we'll do.

I too have forgotten that he's practically always on call now. I suspect as the patient base expands this will become more common but for now, I am not used to it! I am not used to praying for patients I will never know at all hours of the night and praying my husband didn't get into a car accident driving in when all the drunks are out. I forget that what P does to support us all is all encompassing in a way that other jobs aren't. Not that I would change things. It is what he does, he's good at it, and he's helping other people who are, as he puts it, usually having the worst day of their lives when he sees them. St. Luke, pray for us!!

Oh and for laughs, Beanie is constantly talking about everyone we saw on vacation. She convinced the marriage garnered her new cousins like Marnie and that her new BFFs are her single aunts and uncles. I overheard her talking on her cellphone (=rectangular block) to Aunt Lizzy and Uncle JoeB, "Oh Hi! I am just talking to you guys!" and when I asked what she was talking about she replied, "Baby Boomers!" Alrighty then! She also keeps insisting she's saved when we talk about Jesus. "I saved! I saved!" Hmmm.....I can't quite get her to say she's redeemed and working on her salvation. ;) But then again, she hasn't reached the age of reason yet either!

Re-entry

Ok, so we're back from vacation and we're not really rested at all. Oh well. We had a lot of fun, you were all worth it I promise, but forgive us if we say we're never leaving home again!!

I have lots to write about cousining and such, but for now, unfolded laundry calls.

Headed up north!!!

40 hours of driving for 4 days. I am nuts.

Thanks...I think.

Me: Reading my favorite blog and probably not fully paying attention.
Biki: Who's blog is that? Who is that lady?
Me: Oh, it is lady that is going to write a book.
Biki: You should write a book.
Conqueror: Yeah, you could write a book!
Me: Thinking to myself about all my hidden talents and glad my kids recognize them, "Wow, I should write a book?"
Conqueror: Yeah, you know, like an easy reader.

Motherhood, always good for the humility!

It is getting buggy around here!

We recently had the bug man out, as it was getting out of control around here. As a result, there have been surges of bugs as they all go crazy trying to get away from the poison. The bug man assures me this is normal and I tend to agree since most of them are sort of dying when we find them. There was the one who took up residence on the ceiling of dining room before P. got him, but that's another story.

Anyway, I was trying to have rest/prayer time this afternoon but of course everyone followed me into my room and started rolling around on the floor. Why, I didn't understand. But then I hear Biki talking about crabs and then Beanie yells over the conqueror, "YUCK!!!!!!!!!! A giant cockroach!!!!!!!!!" and then pretended to smash him. Yes, my kids play cockroach. It is that bad, but at least they have enough self-respect not to call them palmetto bugs!!

Fruit Eaters Anonymous

I am really beginning to rethink our "you can have a snack as long as its healthy" stance. It is not that the girls don't eat their regular meals, it is just the sheer volume of fruit they can go through. Our son, on the other hand, is at risk for scurvy.

A few examples, Beanie is really a monkey. If I bring home a bunch of bananas, they are gone in a day. On Monday morning I went to Sam's club and bought 5lbs of clementines. By Tuesday 5pm they were all gone. I had 2 I think, the babysitter had 2, but the others were all the kids, mostly all the girls.

Did I mention that Beanie's not toilet trained yet?

"I wish...

I could schedule my birthday for tomorrow!!"

That's what happens when packages start arriving a little too early! Mortification of delay kid, start learning it now!!

Overheard in the playroom....

• Want to play scary dentist? (YIKES....I will be paying for therapy for years!)

• One Guinness, coming up! (That's my girl!!)

I knew it.....

The turkey wads!!

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/07/10/attitudes.overweight/index.html


A quote in part:

You may actually be a size 14 and, according to whatever particular store you're in, you come out a size 10," said Natalie Nixon, associate professor of fashion industry management at Philadelphia University. "It's definitely to make the consumer feel good."

Power Hitter

Real kid golf clubs for my son...$30

102 balls at the driving range...$7

Hearing my son utter "WOW!" in disbelief as his dad obliterates golf balls into the trees with his new birthday present driver...Priceless.

Random

• I overheard the conqueror talking to the baby today and squeezing her chub, "Fat Mole! Fat Mole! You are a fat mole!" I think he was talking about about fat rolls, but either way she'll probably have a complex when she gets older. As will Beanie, formerly known as fatso friend and bean stean the fatso fiend.
• We've added a new saint to our nightly dinner "pray for us" section. P. wanted to do St. John Vianney for the new year of the priest. Well, he pronounces it differently then I do with my STL "v-Ahn-eee". His is more like "V-ah-nee" with the last two syllables slurring together. So immediately Bean started laughing, "St. Beanie!!!"

My new favorite word...

Palm-pood-er

(that would be computer as in, "We have skype on our palmpooder!")

Quotes from the Conqueror...

• C'mon Biki, get in the car and we can have the buckling race championships!!! (I think its time for a summer sport!!)
• I told him, "Good night I love you! You're a gift from God!" And he replied, "You are a gift from God too!"
• Last night at bed he asked, "What is peppermint?" "Peppermint is a type of candy." "No, peppermint disease." "Peppermint disease?" "Yes, peppermint disease, like that lady who Jesus cured in the bible." I immediately recognized the Gospel with the woman cured of a hemorrhage. I explained it was a hemorrhage, not peppermint disease. I think maybe its time to get his ears checked for wax. Upside, at least he was paying attention during mass.

Grandpa'd be proud....

The kids got Sunday donuts before mass and after mass Mom got her Iced Tall Nonfat Mocha (without whip of course! ; ) ). By the time we were close to home I was using my straw to break up the ice at the bottom in my efforts to get out the last drops of chocolate. Then I hear Beanie from the back in her little matter of fact voice, "Mama, if you take that straw out of your cup again, I am going to have to take it away from you."

Forewarned....

I am beginning to feel sorry for the poor guy who might want to marry Biki.

It came up that she wasn't going to have children. "Why?" I asked. "Because I am not going to get married! Even if somebody loves me and wants to marry me, I am going to say 'no' at my wedding." Italics mine.

I for one will be looking at the refund policies!

He's home!

Now what?

To blog or not to blog....that is the question.

TODAY!

We're picking him up at 3:30pm, weather providing!

The Doctor is in...

He's stateside!!! Should be home in a few days. Hurrah....now to get ready for him!

More Beanisms

Let's face it....two year olds say the darndedst things.

• We pray for all the sick, including great grandpa M. So the other night Beanie asks at prayers "What the matter with Aunt Annie's dad?" And I answered that he fell and broke his hip. "Oh! Poor little guy!" she responded. I told her he wasn't little, but a big guy. And she said, "He has lots of cavities!" Go figure.

• Beanie takes off her diaper all the time right now. It is infuriating, because she doesn't really get the underwear toilet training concept either. I have cleaned up 100 messes in the last few weeks. I don't think she's ready, but she keeps taking off her diaper so I keep asking her if she wants a diaper, a princess pull-up, or underwear. She often chooses underwear and then I keep putting her on the potty with zippo success. Anyway, this evening at bedtime I was trying to get a diaper on her. She was standing in front of me and then marched up to me, hands on her hips, and exclaimed, "I am 16 years old and I DON'T need a diaper!" Perhaps its time to lay off "The Sound of Music"!

Why I don't put pictures of us on the web....

this isn't really that scary, but then again it is.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/us_odd_card_photo_prague

Why...

does each one of my children have exactly one flip flop? A search of the entire house has yielded nothing. Things like this are rather infuriating.

Getting Ready

The Daddy bears have outfits (Army guy, ballerina, and Cinderella), the poster board and markers are bought. WE ARE GETTING READY!

Now...we're just waiting for an exact time frame.

Overheard

Biki talking to baby in a happy sing song voice (ala 3 Men and a Baby):

"Hi Baby! I can't eat you baby because you have big bones. I wouldn't want to eat your bones. And your big head wouldn't fit in my mouth. No you have a big head baby!"

Baby apparently thought this was all well and good and kept smiling away.

Open Letter to Obama

Dear Mr. President,

I would just like to offer a suggestion as you slowly get around to having the government control every industry in America. After the feds have taken over the auto industry and the health care industry, how about going after the clothing manufacturers?

You see, the problem is that there is no consistency in sizing across the industry. At any given time I have 5 different sizes in my closet and can usually, at any given weight, wear about 3 different ones. For the sake of argument, let's say my skinny size is a "size 2". So, I should feel good when I can get into a size 2 two months post-partum right? WRONG....you see I have a "size 4" that was my skinny size about 6 years ago and that article of clothing is too small currently. I have "size 2" clothes that are too tight or too big and "size 4" that are too tight and too big all at the same time!! And adding to my problems are a new purchase that looked good on upon purchase and promptly fell off after one wearing. Spandex/cotton blend isn't my friend.

These mind games the clothing industry is playing don't work on me. I am onto them. I know that 4 really isn't a 4 anymore. So what's the point? We the people want standards in sizing!

Thank you for your time!

We're Proud

P. was awarded the Bronze Star for Meritorious Service. I don't care that he says it isn't a big deal. We're still proud.

The Baby Whisperer a/k/a The Conqueror

"Mom!" I hear outside the shower door.

"Mom, Baby needs her poop changed!!"

I ask him how he knows, thinking he heard one of her tell-tale explosions, and he responds, "I listen very carefully when she's crying and she says 'change my poop please, change my poop please!"

Why Biki can't be trusted for fashion and design advice...

I admit, I set the kid up. In the living section of our local paper there was a feature on a woman's house and her 'colorful' style. I showed it to Biki and her response was

"That is so beautiful! I am going to take it upstairs and show it to my brother. Conqueror look at this beautiful house!"

See for yourself.....
http://spotted.augusta.com/chronicle/display.html?collection=73858&gallery=159022&photo=732865

We're almost there!

We're in the home stretch but I think we're all finding it excruciatingly difficult. The kids are telling random strangers that their dad is coming home soon. One guy last night said, "Wow, I now know your whole life story." Talk about embarrassing.

And I am wondering why when I have survived for 200 days feel like I can't make it for this last stretch. IT doesn't make sense.

Random Thoughts

• It is much better to have a baby in November when you have six months to wear big bulky clothes as you try to shed baby weight.
• I took the children to Panera for dinner this evening. I want to vomit when I think that we will be eating out for all our meals for 5 days later this summer.
• That is all.

Thankful!

We're thankful for-

• good friends to watch kids in a minor emergency
• that the Conqueror's arm is not broken so we can continue on with T-ball and swim lessons
• a nice doctor who comes to check on us after seeing us in the waiting room (b/c we couldn't get into see him)
• That t-ball practice was cancelled due to bad weather so my exhausted children can be in bed by 7:30pm! : )
• oh yes and only a few days left!!!!!!!!!!

We spent a few hours in the ER last night only to bail and follow up in clinic this morning. It was actually kind of fun hanging out with just the Conqueror and the baby. I forget how much the kid likes to talk when he's got your ear. He talked to anyone and everyone about his arm, how it happened, how he's got "resistance to pain" (trying to explain his high pain tolerance but kept messing it up). It was funny.

Day late and a dollar short

P is coming home soon....like less than three weeks soon! The local army base sent me a notice of a family readiness group (FRG) meeting here at home. Up to this point I had been getting information from the one in Colorado...but that wasn't really helpful.

I just had to laugh that it took them 6 months to get me included in the DDEAMC FRG.....Thanks a lot guys but we've got this Army of One thing down (sort of).

Needed to get the paper if you're 2

• Shoes (which you go all the way upstairs for and put on the wrong feet.)
• A baby doll
• A baby doll blanket
• Another baby doll
• And a lot of time because your shoes are on the wrong feet.

Michael Phelps eat your heart out.

It is pool season and the conqueror is into it! I told him he had to learn how to swim before he could learn how to ski and when he heard mom skied at 7 he's gung ho to give it a try if we make it up north.

Anyway, last year at the end of swim season I got them all these flotation suits from Speedo...knowing I would have 4 kids who didn't know how to swim and no hubby. Anyway, they are a big hit and #1 keeps telling everyone, "I HAVE A SPEEDO SUIT!" and I keep wanting to laugh because it sounds like he's talking about the real thing...ala the fat Europeans!

The Bean Eyed Monster

She's not a monster but she is jealous!!

Overheard- "I am going to take that baby away!" So I asked, "Where are you taking the baby?" She realizes she's busted at this point and says "To ice cream!" Yeah, nice save, but babies don't eat ice cream!

Again:
She points to her chubby cheeks.....and says "I want to put this face on the baby!" Meaning she wants to be the baby!

Because I think its funny and I dare someone to wear one....

The one above says: This is my career. It's fabulous.

Watch out....you might get one as a gift now that I know they exist! mollyanna.com

Bugs in Hell.

I think there must be insects in hell. Lots of them. Which is one of the reasons I don't want to go there. Biting, swarming insects are my idea of hell. You might ask what is it with me and insects? What have they done to me? Specifically what have they done to me since P. left? LOTS.

*Jumped out of my spice cabinet at scared the you know what out of me.
* Swam in my shower.
*Crawled out of my sink.
*Sent me to the ER.
*Invaded my front hall.

We just had a termite swarm. Can I just say it was disgusting and vile? And we are under termite protection. I think I am going to have permanent brain damage from my Raid usage and now my front porch has holes in it with termite poison. We're still waiting to find out on the structural damage angle. Those holes are not going to do anything for the resale value of my home. Grrr.

Thank goodness for my neighbor who had the Raid and for leftovers and corndogs for dinner. Because I can't both cook and deal with invasions at the same time.

Blonds have more fun.

Biki and I were sharing a moment after dropping off the conqueror. The baby was asleep and Beanie was back with a visiting aunt.

"Wow Bik! Today is your first day of summer vacation. This is going to be great. We'll do a little bit of homeschooling, a little bit of swim lessons. What do you want to accomplish this summer?"

There was a pause and then a very serious, definitive statement from the way back:
"Blond hair."

More Beanisms

"Mom, my eyes are cold."
"Huh?"
"My eyes are cold," she says as she stares into my sunglassed eyes at the Tball field.
"Oh, are you saying you want to wear my glasses?"
"Uh-huh. My eyes are cold!" Hands cover eyes.

"I am going to get married."
"To who?"
"To me!"
"You can't marry yourself."
"To dad!"
"Nope, he's already taken. I am married to dad."
"To Biki!"
"Nope, can't marry your sister either."
"TO ME!"
"Nope, you can't marry yourself."
Then she sort of sighs and walks off.

File under Kids say the darndest things...

As you might recall my kids love to hear the story of "when they were born." So, today after dropping off the conqueror Biki asked to hear hers. Well, I went through the usual parts, its all a rather sanitized version mind you, and then Biki stopped me after the part where she was born.

"You forgot the part when you check the rumpus to see if I was a boy or a girl!" Alrighty then! I can assure you all that I have NEVER inserted that into ANY of our stories!

Confusion

Beanie came in to tell me she was, yet again, "hunglee!" I asked her what she was hungry for and she replied, "I hunglee for me!" I think she's got what and who confused!

Biki's Bling

You know what Mom? I need a glorious, sparkly dress.

Really? Why do you need one? When would you wear a glorious, sparkly dress?

You know, to a birthday party or something.

**Wonder what kind of friends she's planning on having!

Soldier Appreciation

On Saturday we went to "Operation Augusta Cares," an event for military families, particularly those with parents deployed. There were moonbounces, bubbles, games, a magic show, and a water park. The kids had a blast.

After we left the Conqueror turned to me and said, "That was fun Mom. I think they wanted to do that for the kids like us because they are missing the hugs and kisses from Dad in Iraq."

So true!

We've turned a corner....

I think we have all realized that the only way we are going to make it through these last few weeks is to concentrate on how close homecoming is!!!!!!!!!! Everyone is focused on homecoming...planning outfits (not me, but my fashionista daughter), posters (the Conqueror) and talking about the hugs they'll be getting (bean). I am in fact encouraging it all at this point....it seems to help abate the inevitable tantrums and crises.

Fire Ants are Not My Friends....

Yesterday I discovered that I am allergic to fire ants. Who knew? Although with the number of auto-immune issues in the family, it really isn't all that surprising.

I stepped on a low lying nest getting into my car and got about 7 bites. My friend kindly got me a benadryl immediately after I let a few German curse words slip and danced around until I got them off. For you northerners they are like little sea lampreys that don't let go until you pinch them off. Anyway, driving home my ears started itching on the inside and turning red, then my scalp, and then my arm broke out, all the while the welts on my foot were amazing. Long story short by the time I got home I was covered in welts and my eyes were starting to itch and get little welts at the side. I called to get a doctors appointment but they were full so then I asked to talk to the nurse who after hearing my symptoms told me to get to the ER ASAP. So, after throwing cheese sticks at the two older girls I threw all 3 girls in the van and booked it to Eisenhower. You should have seen me getting airborne on the speed bumps!

At that point I was ok, just in a lot of pain but just scared that it would jump to the next step and affect my breathing. I was just trying to keep myself calm. Anyway, we got there in one piece and I was whisked in. Never have I spent so little time in an ER. There was absolutely no waiting.

In our room they immediately started a line for some drugs at which point, wait for it, baby decided to have a diaper explosion of EPIC proportions. The nurse was seriously sticking me when it happened. Never in 8 years of diapering have I been covered like that. GROSS. I am guessing someone needed a lot of prayers yesterday. And through all this the big girls, unlunched, were complaining they were hungry.

After the nurse left P. called and he got the brunt of my anxiety. After we got off the phone, his colleague, who is actually out processing, came in and clothed the naked and fed the hungry. He brought me scrubs and took the girls away for lunch. It was perfect timing because they had just drugged me up and I was so woozy and I was able to sleep while baby slept. He was my guardian angel!!! We finally got to go home after about 3 hours. Never a dull moment!!

Now I am living in fear of the little buggers. They are everywhere around here until at least November, so I am going to have to come to grips with this pretty darn soon. Then again, I guess now I have the perfect excuse to hang out poolside, and only poolside, for the rest of the summer! : ) Anyway, the Epi-pen, I won't be leaving home without it. I have one in my purse and another one in my kitchen. I am trying to decide if I want to show the Conqueror how to use it on me. In a real emergency that would be good, but I think the trade off of terrifying my sensitive son just wouldn't be worth it!! And for those of you disappointed that I say I am never moving north again due to the cold weather I have duly noted that colder climates have no fire ants, so that's a point in your favor!

Only 44 days to go...but really who's counting??

Spring Take 2

I wanted to cut down the ivy on my porch (ok its not ivy but you know what I mean) but now it is bloom. I figure P. would like to see it so in the interest of full disclosure here it is!

He's ruining my life...

Cookie Monster that is. You see my girls have some sort of weird fascination with him, particularly his image as it appears on Pampers. I am a name brand diaper enthusiast, having tried the other brands and decided the savings wasn't worth it. So...every package has a few Cookie Monsters in it. It all started with Biki and I would have to hide all the Cookies from the package until the other ones were gone because otherwise she'd go hunting for them. Inevitably she would tear apart whole boxes full of diapers looking for the "cookie mons". I will find piles of diapers neatly sorted with all the cookie monsters set aside. Vern! V-E-R-N!!!

Well, she passed her obsession onto Beanie who also searches for the cookies. But it is getting worse. I worry they will indoctrinate baby. I recently found them tearing apart a whole package of baby diapers trying to find the "baby cookie mons!" When I ask someone to get a diaper it takes four times as long because they are searching for the cookie monsters. Argh. If I wasn't so attached to pampers I could solve this problem. Hmmm....can one practice detachment from diapers that work? I guess so.

Pagan No More

One of these days I am going to put that on a Baptism cake.....this was probably my best shot too since P. wasn't around to stop me! Oh well...when push comes to shove I don't have the guts. That's probably a good thing! : )

Anyway, the baptism was great....how wonderful of the godparents and kids to come down. Our kids had a blast!!!

Trouble with R's

Let's face it...speech impediments are kind of cute. For some reason, all of my kids have one or another.

Conqueror: Mother=Mudder no matter how many times we have read it....It is always, "Are you my Mudder?"

Biki has one too. But by far Beanie's current problem is my favorite. For some reason she turns all "r's" into "l's". I thought "l" was hard for little kids to say....but no matter. So, now she has christened Grandma yet another name- "Glamma" which I am guessing is going to stick. She also says she's "hunglee" 800 times a day. We have a new Roly on our hands. "I hunglee mommy, I hunglee." It was also amusing to hear her "reading" herself "The very hunglee caterpillar" yesterday!

A new baby sister for Biki

Overheard today....

"It's hard having a new baby brother or sister when your dad is in Iraq."

and

"It is hard having a new baby sister because Mom is always holding her and she takes up the whole lap!"

Someone needed a hug!!

First afternoon on my own....

in which the two year old gets bored during a nursing session and apparently decides it is time for a hair cut. Thanks to her curly locks I haven't been able to assess the damage yet....

The first of many exciting adventures I am sure!!

Is it wrong...

a) my newborn's furrowed brow reminds me of the guy above?

Hate to break it to you kid....

So I am feeding the baby and Beanie comes up to me and asks, "When is she going to turn into a butterfly?" They've been reading about the life cycle of the caterpillar recently....I guess baby reminds her of a fat little caterpillar!! I had to explain that the baby would be around for a long long time....and will only grow up to be a big girl...not a butterfly! : )

The wisdom of children

The Conqueror's fear of all things thunder has returned recently with the onset of tornado weather. Last week we were checking the weather and severe storms were scheduled for Good Friday. He saw the little pictures on weather.com and immediately started getting worried. I tried to play it off that it always gets rainy and dark on Good Friday because it is the day that Jesus died. He then responded "Yes, it probably represents the darkness of sin."

She's here!!!

We'll just call her baby for now! The kids immediately wanted to know if they could call her Bucky. I explained that she didn't even have teeth....the response..."Well, can we call her Bucky when she's grown up?" Ask your father.

I think it was all about the alliteration...Biki, Beanie, Bucky.

Walking Time Bomb

Ok, I know my due date is wrong, but there's still something annoying about being overdue. I am really waddling right now and the constant Braxton Hicks slow me down quite a bit at times. This results in a lot of comments from passersby. Just a few since Friday:

- The "have you had the baby yet" phone calls. Or having to preface every phone call I make with a "No, I'm not in labor" as the voice on the other line gets overly excited when they realize its me.

-Cleaning lady at the hospital on Friday: "Honey when are you due?" as I walk into the loo. "Today!" I replied as I waddled in. After a few minutes I hear a voice outside the stall- "You ok? I didn't want to leave a lady alone who was overdue!!!" Mortifying.

- On the riverwalk the other day as I sauntered along "You gonna make it?"

-People at church asking me when I am due and having to reply either today, yesterday, or two days ago and then their eyes widen as they walk away. They seriously look at me like I am going to explode.

-Running into my doctor at church as I waddle to the confession line only to have him laugh and look at his watch. ARGH!! Yeah, yeah see you Wednesday.

My son!

Overheard in the other room:

A large crash. The huge bin of 80 million lego pieces is tipped over by an offending sister.

The Conqueror's response: "You are sooooooooooooooooooo going to pick that up!"

Why every woman needs a daughter....

Biki isn't a morning person. The other day she came downstairs at 7:10am bleary eyed and scowling only to erupt in a huge smile.

"Mom!!! Are those new shoes? Those are so cute! I have never seen them before!"

Gotta love it. It was indeed my first time wearing them....they had been up on the shelf of my closet for a few weeks.

What I get for shopping on a Sunday..........

After mass we headed to Lowes to make a return. My days are numbered and I am trying to cross things off my list. I really don't want to drive around with a garbage disposal in my car for the next 4 weeks....

So anyway, we're in Lowes cruising the garden section because we feel the need to fill our hanging baskets. I am pushing one in the cart, one in the oven, and two are jumping at my feet. This little Hispanic lady looks at me with a big smile and says "Pleez...no more!" And then said something about six kids, whether she had them or her daughter had them I couldn't figure out. She then said something about "itz so bizzy!" Wow, thanks for that affirmation. And I wasn't even grumpy or ready to lose it at someone ( that would have been yesterday shopping for Easter outfits at Macy's) !

Anyway, I was sort of taken aback. I smiled and said I was the oldest of seven and sort whizzed away. None of the kids asked me about it later but I was pretty shocked. It was one of the ruder comments I have received. Grrrr.....I know I should just offer it up, but I am still looking for the perfect comeback in these situations!

Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmmm

We've been without a TV for a while now. I guess its been about a month and I really haven't noticed.

I never set out to be totally anti-television it has just sort of happened. First we stopped letting the kids watch it except for movies on the weekends and then we moved here with so few channels and such bad reception that all we ever watched was GlobeTrekker on PBS and football. Then of course was the digital switchover and we were left with one pathetic channel. I didn't want to get cable and there was no funding for those little converter box coupons for the government so I went without. The fact of the matter is that since P. has been gone I can't recall ever watching the tv. We only have it on for "movie nights." (Before you feel sorry for me I can assure you that I waste a heck of a lot of time on the Internet!)

Long story short my coupon from the government arrived yesterday. I can go get my box courtesy of the stimulus package. I guess I sort of feel guilty. Why should the government (make that Joe Taxpayer) subsidize my ability to watch crap? I suppose I could just go buy a box outright and let the coupon expire but I don't feel strongly enough about tv to want to shell out $40 bucks so I can watch it.

Decisions, decisions. This whole thing of being "in the world, but not of the world" can be confusing at times. I know we're supposed to be countercultural and all, but I don't want to be going overboard. At least I have until June 22nd to make up my mind...that's the day the coupon expires!

Overheard....

Beanie is very chatty lately. She talks a lot....I heard her the other day and thought she was asking me something. "What did you say Bean?" Her reply: "I am just talking to myself!"

The other day I heard her talking about daddy. "My daddy. My daddy in Iraq. My daddy taking a nap in his girly bed!" When we skype with Daddy he's usually in his room sitting on his bed. For some reason, he has this cheesy white metallic headboard with the gold balls which the kids have dubbed the girly bed. And of course, the kid knows Daddy loves his naps!

I have created a cynic....

It is dental health awareness time for the under 10 set! Apparently the "tooth fairy" showed up at the Conqueror's kindergarten classroom, complete with outfit and wand. He was not impressed.

For those who don't know....we don't do Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. We avoided the issue for many years, but when questions started coming that I couldn't answer without lying, I just sort of came clean.

Anyway, the Conqueror was explaining to me, in a rather exasperated tone, how the "tooth fairy" came and "lied to all these kids that the tooth fairy was going to take their teeth. I mean, it is just so...so....(both hands up in some sort of Italian gesture)...so uncalled for!" I died laughing.

Scenes from family adoration....

in which I stupidly took the kids to mass first and got them Chic-fil-A complete with a shared milkshake in honor of the solemnity before arriving at the adoration.

*Biki has taken to burping for attention on a regular basis. After initially being concerned about her gastro-intestinal health I am fairly sure it is now a question of one real burp being followed by 100 manufactured ones. They always occur during church. Anyway, it was really great tonight, a whole chorus. When censured she claims she can't help it and then proceeds to do a few quietly and into her hand before commencing with the loud ones. I was becoming exasperated with all 3 of them and finally started giving her "strikes out"....let's just say she made it to strike 3- which means a punishment. Immediately after I whispered, "Ok, that's strike 3", i.e. you are going to get it, she lets another one rip and announces, "That's strike 4!" Holy terror! Good thing she redeemed herself later on and proceeded to say a Hail Mary out loud in front of the whole church as part of the rosary decade. May God put this tenacity to good use for the building of the kingdom! ARGH.

*Beanie was jumping over the pew in front of us multiple times and I couldn't escape as I had been boxed in on both sides. She just kept climbing with her legs up in the air. When the deacon gave a little reflection on Lent and Easter he mentioned something about Easter coming soon. Well, she heard that. She holds up both hands, yells "Easter's coming soon!" and then puts them on her face ala "The Scream." Then she repeats this multiple times. We finally went to the back for a while.

* During adoration Beanie was obsessed with the fact that Jesus got moved out of the "gold box" which I kept describing as the tabernacle. Well, at the end as Our Lord is being put back she yells out, "They are putting Jesus back in the microwave." Not exactly....but in her defense our microwave is stainless steel....so there's a correlation.

*During mass earlier after communion Bean was watching the distribution of the Precious blood intently. She then announced to me, rather loudly, "You didn't get your blood of Christ!"

Every kid should have a backyard....

I can say that because we went six years without one and didn't know what we were missing!

This is awesome....I open the door and they all run outside for hours. Genius....why didn't I know about this earlier?

I get little gifts on a regular basis. Biki never fails to bring me dandelions or other flowers and yesterday Beanie handed me something green, very proud of herself. "Here Momma, this is for you!" "Thanks Beanie!" Big smile. "You're welcome!" And she was out the door again. She loves the independence the yard brings her. She mucks in the creek in her "cow boots", actual rain boots with cows on them, and just sits on the little bridge watching the water flow by.

We have had a few mishaps-waterlogged socks, shoes, and pants etc. and a ban has been issued on all inside toys leaving the house. But otherwise, it has been glorious. They use the shed in the back as a playhouse and stay out for hours at a time, coming in only for bathroom breaks and water. They insist on eating as many meals out there as possible too! I know this weather won't last, but I am hoping they will keep this up for the summer. At least we have a lot of shade to keep out the hot sun.

Next project, a garden!!

Marriage Madness

Nothing like an upcoming family wedding to get everyone excited!

After the news broke I was getting asked a million questions. "Will we take an airplane? Yes. Will I be in the wedding? Hold your horses, mommy didn't even have a ringbearer or a flower girl. Will I get a new dress? Possibly. Will our cousins be there? Yes.

People were crying when they realized they wouldn't be attending the celebratory brunch. Like I was going to drive to Chicago 38 weeks pregnant with no Paul. I love you guys and all but....

The cutest wedding mania story concerned Beanie. She doesn't miss a trick and absorbs everything. She may not have any wedding experiences to draw on but she immediately got what was going on. So on Sunday morning Biki decided to dress Beanie in the flower girl dress she wore as a flower girl in the last family wedding. Beanie was very proud of the little pink and white dress and showed it off like a real pro. I think she gets lessons from her big sister. Anyway, we're on our way to mass and Beanie starts bawling when she realizes where we are going. Turns out she thought she was going to the wedding!!! For some reason she gets that Daddy doesn't come home for a while, that vacation is after Daddy returns, but thinks the wedding is tomorrow. So cute!

We also heard a rumor that the happy couple wanted to have their wedding at San Juan Capistrano which we have been reading about lately in the lovely book Song of the Swallows by Leo Politi. I highly recommend the book if you can get your hands on it. I am eyeing a copy on ebay! When the kids heard about the possible location they went bonkers! The conqueror's eyes were literally as big as silver dollars. They all wanted to know if the swallows would still be there since they leave in late summer. We have been searching for footage of their arrival on St. Joseph's day but haven't found it yet. Anyway, the excitement mounts hourly around here!

Sometimes Ignorance is Bliss, Pt. 2

I asked children to go wash up before dinner. No problem, right? I have been trying to be better about this recently.

Anyway, Beanie ran in first, ostensibly to get the job done. Biki came in a few seconds later and announced, "Gross! Beanie's putting her hand in the toilet!!" She was using toilet water to wash her hands!! I guess that whole concept of using the stool to reach the sink was too much for her.

I really wonder how many times this has happened before. What's even more disturbing is that certain parties have a real hard time with the "Wipe, Flush, Wash" mantra. I often find a toilet in need of a flush. YIKES.

Stealing an idea......

I thought it would be fun to have my kids answer the same questions as some of their cousins. They are written in age order- 1=The Conqueror 2=Biki 3=Beanie. Various children wandered in and out during the questions and they were a little distracted at times!!

The major themes emerging are that I like Chinese food and have a temper. No surprises there!

1. What is something mom always says to you?

1-Clean up.
2-How was your day?
3-I am the moma.

2. What makes mom happy?
1- Obeying.
2- a baby.
3-make cookies for W.

3. What makes mom sad?
1- whining.
2-being bad.
3-orange juice.

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
1- by saying something funny
2- when you say bebe
3-like orange juice ( I think we're losing steam here!)

5. What did your mom like to do when she was a child?
1- eat candy
2-play with dolls
3- i am a mom.

6. How old is your mom?
1- 23
2- 22
3- 4 ( I love my kids!)

7. How tall is your mom?
1- 55 inches
2- So big.
3- 40

8. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV?
1- movies
2-toy story
3-cinderfella

9. What does your mom do when you’re not around?
1- do something with the girls
2-go to the playground

10. What is your mom really good at?
1- softball (?)
2-making dinner
3-hot cocoa (she was fed this answer)

11. What is your mom not very good at?
1- soccer
2-basketball


12. What does your mom do for her job?
1- help around the house
2-help us
3-toothpaste

13. What is your mom's favorite food?
1.china express can I help you?
2. P.F. Changs

14. What makes you proud of your mom?
1- helping us around the house
2- playing games

15. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
1- a space girl
3- moma

16. What do you and your mom do together?
1- snuggle buggle, kiss-kiss and daddy hugs
2-play games
3-play

17. How are you and your mom the same?
1- we both have blue eyes
2- with numbers
3-me

18. How are you and your mom different?
1- I am a boy and you are a girl
2- B/c I have brown hair and you have a little brown and and a little blonde

19. How do you know your mom loves you?
1- she gives me snuggles and kisses
2- gives me hugs
3- Um, I know.

20. What does your mom like most about your dad?
1- she loves him
2- playing games

21. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go?
1- P.F. Chang's China Bistro!!
2- Panera

22. What is one thing you wish you could change about your mom?
1- Her being angry. (YIKES!)

23. What would your mom do with a million dollars?
1- Buy a rich house.

24. What do you wish you could go and do with your mom?
1- play soccer
2- do Irish dance

25. What is one thing you hope never changes about your mom?
1- that her skin never changes (he's talking about wrinkles!!)
2-being nice

Bean....waking up

Her first words this morning:

"I wanna get my feet washed at church!" I knew immediately she was talking about Holy Thursday. Being a wimp and not wanting to get into the theological implications of women getting their feet washed on the male priesthood, apostolic succession, etc. I didn't really answer anything more than "oh, I don't know...hmmm."

Undeterred, she responded, "I ask Fr. Jerry?"

Flashback....for those who don't know....when Adele was 2.5 we did a noon Holy Thursday mass at the Walter Reed Hospital Chapel. It was an extremely small crowd and they were asking for volunteers for the feet washing. The Conqueror initially wanted to do it and then backed out. But Biki, in a sudden burst of fearlessness, exclaimed she wanted to do it and was up there before I could stop her. Of course everyone thought it was so cute and I was mortified...but she did the whole thing and walked back to her seat triumphant. Perhaps they have been sharing all this with Beanie.

I can do that!!!

For weeks, Biki has been getting into trouble for using paper towels for various projects around the house. I find my canned goods swaddled in the pantry, various baby dolls mummified, and dress patterns cut up everywhere.

The other day I lost it and reiterated how she was NEVER to touch paper towels again. Her response, "Mom, can you please get me paper towels for my birthday?"

No problem. What an easy kid. One roll of Bounty and a princess cupcake coming up this July!

Maybe she's been reading greek tragedies on the side...

This morning I asked Biki about the 1st sorrowful mystery and she had no clue what the agony in the garden was at all.

Later on as we passed the only Catholic bookstore in town, lame as it is, I wondered if they sold those little St. Joseph story books on Lent. I remarked aloud that I haven't been doing my job since she hadn't learned about the agony in the garden. "Yeah," she volunteered from the back seat, "I really like Agony, he's one of my favorites and I want to learn all about him!"

Skype, It isn't all it is cracked up to be....

Tonight at the dinner table we had a glass carafe full of water. All of a sudden all 3 of them start crouching down trying to look and talk to each other while looking through it. This was a game they had obviously played before, but not in my presence.

When asked what they were doing they replied they were "skyping" with each other. The conqueror even performed a little rendition of the skype test call.

Needless to say, our last few video skypes with dad have had seriously poor quality! Oh well, it is better than nothing!!

Is there no end in sight?

I have been known to enjoy discussing my fascination with viruses and the way they manifest themselves in different people in different ways, even within the same family.

I am so over that. I just want whatever is in my house, and has been in my house for the last week, to leave. STAT.

This is what happens when we don't leave the house for over 48 hours with no end in sight, a quickly emptying fridge, and snow, yes SNOW, expected tomorrow.

Oh well, I suppose this an excellent way to start lent.....offering up the small crosses right?

Mutual Admiration Society

From Beanie:

"I love siblings! If I run around the kitchen with a cardboard box on my head my brother and sister, who are supposed to be finishing their dinner, will laugh uncontrollably. Then they will take turns beating the box to get me to come out and say something funny, which will make me laugh until I fall on the floor. Awesome!"

As my dad says, it doesn't take much to please a soldier.

I shouldn't be mad...

but I still am.

I just found out that my kindergartner got to watch 1 or 2 PG kiddie movies (Madagascar 1 and 2) on the way to and from his field trip today. They aren't horrible movies but I had specifically reviewed them and decided not to play them for my kids.

I am just annoyed that a parent wouldn't think before showing movies in her car. The school had no part in it.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

The Science Guy- Pillow Talk

Mom, you know how some burps are made up of water bubbles? Well, when they reach the air they dissipate.

(We're been doing a lot of burping around here with the swallowing of pennies by Bean and a recent stomach bug. We had to initiate a burping contest to make sure that a recent penny ingestion made it into Bean's tummy!)

Sometimes....

I don't really want to know what happened.....

like when I walk into the bathroom and the toilet brush is in the sink. It would be better if I never saw it. Really, ignorance can be bliss at least some of the time.

Gotta go find the bleach.................

Lent is just around the corner

A little math:

Lent starts Wednesday + the baby will be here by Easter Monday = I have a ton of stuff to do!

I am in total denial that this child is coming!!!!

Happy and Sad things about Dad being gone....

from the Conqueror:

For Dad:
-happy- he's having fun with all the other army guys playing games like poker!
-sad- he doesn't have us!

For Us-
-happy- people come to visit us! The new baby! ( I really thought he was going to say all the take out!)
-sad- we don't have dad!

Oh my sensitive boy!!! At least he didn't cry when Yaya left!

This is so true!!!

In case you haven't seen it- the latest from Danielle Bean at Inside Catholic:

http://insidecatholic.com/Joomla/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=5457&Itemid=48

It is entitled "Sleep is for wimps!"

Imitation is the highest form of flattery.

We were getting hair cuts the other day and the stylists handed out lollipops at the end. The best part was Beanie telling Biki in a high falsetto voice, "You say thank you for the lollipop, ok?"

She is a great imitator! I hear telling the conqueror to come and help her, "Please come here....1!...2!....3!"

A tiny seed?

Or maybe I am just getting overzealous-

I have heard Beanie on numerous occasions say that she was going to marry Jesus or God. I have no idea where she heard about this.

She'll just be in the back seat talking about it. "I marry God!" So, what the heck, I use that opportunity to talk about vocations. She's only 2, but we might as well start sometime!! : )

Maybe we'll luck out and not have to pay for any wedding's since Biki has already declared she's not getting married! In fact, her new plan is to "not do anything." When asked how she's support herself and buy food she explained she'll just go get some. And when asked how she'd pay for said food she had it all figured out. "I have lots of money in my piggy bank!" Then again, a wedding might be cheaper than supporting her forever!

Argh!

Pregnancy causes me to be a bit more irrational than I would be normally. This time around the whole economy tanking and stimulus package is really stressing me out! (I have to pick something....)

We're going to have a socialist country when this is all through! I feel so bad for my children and how they are going to have to pay for the mistakes of their forbearers. The deficit, socialized medicine, the fairness doctrine- when will it end? I am sure there are good people in Europe living the faith and surviving and thriving despite a really screwed up economy and society but I had hoped for better for the USA!

And while I am at it, I am thankful that I lived in simpler times. I have been doing a bit of photo organization and can't get over how I was able to be a total dork for 20 years. Ok, some of it was because I really was a dork, but there's something different going on now.

Just looking at the outfits, the hairstyles, etc. back then it seems that girls, children, were allowed to be kids. Now I look at the third graders and their emulation of Hannah Montana and it makes me cringe. How can I teach my kids, particularly my daughters, that being cool isn't the number one thing? It isn't that I didn't have desires to be like the other kids and have the cool stuff- I remember saving money for Esprit sweatshirts and Benetton rugbys- it is just that the cool stuff was so much more innocent. Now its all about cami tops and blown out hair and being a rock star and/or sexual object. Never in a million years did my friends and I want to dress like Jem- (jem is my name no one else is the same!) let's face it the clothes weren't available. Now, you can dress like Britney spears starting at 6 mos. Just check out the girls clothes at old navy- there are like 2 options out of 25 that aren't halters, spaghetti straps, or deep vs. This is starting at size 4!

I can't even watch network tv without being embarrassed- superbowl commercials with the kids anyone?- how can I let my kids do it? Then there's the whole technological aspects- sony psps, ipods and cell phones for little ones etc. 4th graders getting their own laptops. INSANITY.

Just had to get this off my chest. I think I need my more optimistic husband around to tell my like my dad, "Da%&*it Meg, the glass is half full!"

We're not in the north anymore....

Yesterday we went to the river walk and read all the little history and nature placards along the way. It was rather disconcerting to read about the "war between the states" as opposed to the civil war. I really felt like a Yankee!!

Cousin Conversation

Overheard between the two un-toilet trained two year olds:

"Do you poop in the potty?"

"Yeah, I poop in the potty."

"Sometimes I poop in the potty and sometimes I poop in my pants."

"I poop in my pants."

"I poop in my pants all the time!"

"Me too!"

Writing it, it isn't really as funny. But it was hilarious as they were having this conversation the truth came out and they walked away bonded over the fact that neither of them was anywhere near getting the whole concept! (Or at least caring!)

I should follow my own advice

We said a decade of the rosary in the car today and I had the kids take turns saying Hail Mary's. Let's just say one unnamed child wasn't really into it. When asked to say one the response was, and I quote, "Hail Mary, blah, blah, blah." I flipped it and "explained" that Mary is our mother and we need to treat her with respect. Then I went on to explain how much it hurt Jesus when we treat His mother disrespectfully.

Anyway, I was thinking about this incident and realized I could follow my own advice a bit more!! I am proud to say that at the most difficult moment of my life I dropped to my knees saying Memorares, but otherwise I am not as much of "Mary " person as I could be! Saying my rosary was always a struggle and still is likely to get less attention then it deserves, even if it does get said. St. JM always spoke lovingly of her and pretty much told everyone in OD to say the rosary every day no matter what else doesn't get done on the prayer list.

Anyway, perhaps we need to be instituting a little bit more Marian piety around here!! Say a little prayer for the above offender! They could use it!

Cultural Commentary

So, I thought we'd go out to dinner tonight so I could chat leisurely with the kids while we ate and I wouldn't feel antsy about getting up and cleaning in order to get moving on the bedtime routine.

We chose Pizza Hut only because poor Conqueror has 3 book it rewards certificates and has never gotten to redeem them. Bad idea. Why do restaurants have both a radio going and three tvs on separate channels all blaring? I got the waitress to mute the tv closest to us, but all of my kids were mesmerized by all the images. So much for conversation. It was like I was eating alone. I tried to get them to talk to me but you could see that they really couldn't focus on me with everything else going on. And you wonder why there's an increase in ADHD and autism.

On another note, why do two people go out to dinner together only to talk and text on their cell phones to (presumably) other people the entire time? WEIRD!

Just like their uncle....

I got an Ipod for Christmas and now we often listen to Itunes radio during dinner cleanup. There is an opera channel we listen to and I found all of them at various times during the night with their ears up to the speakers listening to the arias. So funny!

Thanks for the update.

Bean is finally weaned, but it was a long and arduous process, one I recommend having a husband around for. Well anyway the whole process has been fascinating for Biki. She talks about at school with her teachers. I was mortified one day at pickup when the teacher said that she heard no one was going to get any sleep that night since Bean was going to stop nursing. Hahahahahaha. I guess she could have told everyone I was having a nervous breakdown or something. Note to self: use more discretion.

Anyway, today Biki announces to all concerned in the 2nd row of the minivan that the way to wean a baby is to just stop nursing. "That's how you do it." Gosh, why didn't I think of that? I could only find it amusing because the deed if finally done.

Too much of a good thing

After communion the other day I was trying to get Beanie to be quiet so I could pray and told her to talk to Jesus who was inside her heart. I went on to tell her she was a daughter of God and she looked up at me in all seriousness and said, "I not a daughter of God, I a BIG girl!"

Things you think I would already know....

**Always bring snacks and drinks with you to a dr.'s visit...b/c you never know when a 30 minute appointment will morph into a 2 hour ordeal complete with labs, pharmacy, and breathing treatments!!

**Children will behave perfectly well until it is time for you to actually speak with the dr. and then they will decide to fight over seats, toys, and/or lack of snacks and drinks.

**You know you've hit an all time low when you say to your child, in FRONT of the doctor, that you don't care about justice you just want silence.

At least I am thankful the dr., who already has 7 kids, liked the line. I told him it was from Bill Cosby- am I right??

Things I don't get about the South

1) Monograms on the back of your car- this seems to cross all class and race lines.

2)"In memory of......" Tributes to deceased loved ones with the dates of their life and death and often a photo on the back of one's car.

3) Fried food- except maybe mozzarella sticks, but that's only because I am pregnant!

4) The confederate flag- get over it people!! You are citizens of the United States of America, like it or not. No wonder race relations still aren't that great!

Random thoughts

So, its a cold, cold, wet day and I treat the kids to hot cocoa in the drivethru Starbucks. I was good and only got a decaf coffee. : )

Anyway, Biki starts asking how it is that I talk to the guy when I order- "So how does it work mom? Is it a phone? Are you skyping? Is it like you are dating?" That last one sort of threw me off. I just wonder how she got to think dating has anything to do with drive thrus. We don't go to Starbucks that much!!! ; ) This is also coming from the child who has her heart set on being a Starbucks worker when she grows up because she's NOT getting married. I guess there could be numerary Starbucks baristas!!

Other randomness:
Beanie has been paying more attention in daily mass, particularly on those days when its just the 2 of us. So we're out eating french fries the other night and I see her with the little paper cup of ketchup standing up in the booth with it raised over her head with both hands. All I can hear is something about Jesus Christ.....I tried to get more details out of her, but she sort of clammed up when I started asking her about it. I am guessing she was doing a little reenactment since she's been obsessed with "Jesus' blood" recently!

?

Why is it that my 2 year old insists on opening a four part Melissa and Doug jigsaw puzzle repeatedly to use the pieces as food in her kitchen when she's got a whole stove full of play food? Just curious. What would the Montessorians think?

Manamana

We got the first season of the Muppet Show on DVD and watched the first two episodes. Beanie was infatuated with this dancing, caveman sort of puppet who sings manamana in the first episode and rings a bell in the second episode.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7XOFfjiL-U
(sorry bsafe users, the filter won't let you watch this.....I had to turn mine off to get the clip!)

If you watch the clip you'll get why the following is hilarious. So it is bedtime and I think she's asleep and she looks up at me, opens her eyes and says "Manamana" in her best gravelly Muppet voice. It was hilarious.

Cousin Frenzy!

The kids love being the big cousins! They had a blast with their cousins yesterday and today. They rarely get to see their own big cousins, so this was a chance for them to really get into it. Poor cousin C got bossed around a lot but seemed agreeable to the whole scene.

After they left the Conqueror was really emotional the rest of the day. He cried that they left and kept saying things reminded him of them. At dinner he started crying again pointing to places around the kitchen when he remembered his cousin playing and me sitting around talking to his Aunt and Uncle. The poor kid!! Yesterday after mass he kept saying that he saw dad in the rain. Fleshing the point out, it turns out that rain reminds him of going to Dr.'s appointments at Walter Reed when we would get to go see Dad at work. I just keep assuring him that it is ok to miss dad, but I think he keeps bottling it up and then has these intermittent explosions. Poor kid, I don't know where he gets it from! ; ) (It is not the pregnant me, I just explode all the time!)

On a lighter note, this visit gave the Bean the realization about what my name is, my name besides Mommy. I kept hearing her saying it this afternoon but let it go. Then, she got in trouble for ripping up oatmeal packets and eating them in the pantry and I forced her to apologize. I said, "Tell Mommy you're sorry!" She quickly replied, "Sorry, Meggie!" Now I am trying to nip it in the bud, since she realized that I was amused and kept calling me Meg another ten times. Cheeky one!