One more day

Tomorrow P. leaves again. The kids are acutely aware of it. They went to build a bear and made bears that replay a daddy message, made videos with dad to watch on the computer, and just spend a lot of time hugging him. It is enough to make a non-pregnant woman cry!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

What are you thankful for?

We're thankful for:

"Firefighters." -The Conqueror

"Heads."- Biki

"Me." -Beanie

Days 8-11- Getting Better at this

This week has gone by relatively quickly. I think its because P. will be joining us for 3 days after Thanksgiving before shipping out. I get many a question about "how many days till daddy comes?" When I give the answer, huge smiles break out across their faces. I just hope its not too devastating when he has to leave again. Maybe I am wondering more for myself than for them.

We have altered our bedtime routine a bit since P. left. Now after prayers but before 15 minutes of story everyone gets a mommy kiss and hug and a daddy kiss and hug from me before going to kiss their picture of daddy. They each have a framed photo with daddy in their room. It is so cute because they are so excited to get "real daddy hugs" for "four whole nights!" when he comes home.

We'll have to change everything with the bedtime routine once he leaves for good though because the Bean has to wean. I always swore up and down that I would never nurse a two year old but low and behold I have been doing it for almost 3 weeks! At least she has never asked to nurse, although her speaking is improving daily. I am just praying I wean her before that point- I am so ashamed!!!! We went to the park in the stroller yesterday since it was in the 60's and she had fun trying to do everything the big kids did. On the way back as we followed the Conqueror, riding way too far ahead, back she cocked her head up at me- slightly backwards- and said in her cute little voice- "I a big keed mom!" And then she broke into a huge smile. I just smiled back and said, "Yes you are!! And big kids don't nurse." What the hell, I thought I would try to reason with a two year old. I keep hoping she'll just miraculously give it up.

Tonight I am praying for a dear friend who's only 3 weeks ahead of me with her pregnancy and has been assigned to bed rest for the next 2 months- at least. I pray for her and her baby. And try not to think about what would happen to our family if something like that happened to us at this juncture. Who would I call? No family nearby, few good friends. Yikes. Why am I always so selfish and thinking about myself?? Perhaps that's why I need this deployment combined with a new town and a pregnancy......true love is death to self. Hopefully I will be too busy too think about myself.

Day 7- Cuteness is...

**A just two year old walking up to communion with her hands folded and "praying" like the big school kids.

**New bobs for the girls. Why didn't I do this before the family pictures???

Not cute:
Somebody drawing on my new flat screen monitor with a fine tipped indelible marker.

Day 6- A small gift

I have experience going to mass alone with the kids on Sunday. I would avoid it at all costs and park it in the cry room when I did have to do it. So, I was worried about what our first Sunday on our own would bring. I have to say, it could have been worse. Everyone was well fed, the girls had drinks and cheerios and books. And we sat where the big guys could see. All in all it was OK. The Bean kept trying to run up to the window of the side chapel as we were in the front row with no chairs or kneelers in front of us. As long as she was quiet I really didn't care. I am sure some people thought I was too lenient, but if I got too aggressive with the discipline we would have all ended up in the Narthex. At that point, I feel like no one is getting anything out of mass.

Anyway, I consider such Sunday mass experiences a gift. And I was thankful!! After mass kind friends hosted us for lunch before basketball and the rest of the day went by quickly. The kids insisted on eating in the dining room because it was Sunday! And for the sake of tradition we had snacks and kiddie cocktails! : )

Day 5- Self-Help

I am already contemplating going home to my mother. It is only day 5. But for not wanting to disturb the Conqueror's schooling I would already be making plans.

Today can be summed up by revealing that I went on Amazon and purchased a copy of "Surviving a deployment." I thought about getting "Chicken Soup for the Military Wife's Soul" but I don't really think I need any help getting a good cry on these days!

Today Beanie stuck a baby doll in her shirt and waddled around saying "baby in my tummy, baby in my tummy." I am not that big! I think the ultrasound just confirmed for her what is really going on.

Day 4- A scary thought

We had the big Dr.'s appointment today complete with sonogram. The girls were initially enthralled with watching the baby on the monitor. But things went downhill when it went on too long. The technician couldn't get the picture she wanted and was making me move around. Then she asked "you had you triple screen for downs syndrome right?" "No," I replied. "When are you going to take it?" "I'm not." "Ok." Then I felt like she immediately left, but that's probably not accurate. She returned to tell me that the head of maternal/fetal medicine would need to come at look at my scan. I didn't see this as a good thing, so I started praying. She came in and started concentrating on the heart for a while. My brain was overloading with what if scenarios. I am happy to report that my first reaction was that it was going to be ok and God would give the grace to deal with a Down's baby. I was practicing my happy thoughts for the delivery...."he'll bring great joy...etc."

But, a holy priest I know once said its not your first reaction that counts, but your second. That's where I failed miserably. My second reaction was along the lines of I can't believe this is happening. I will never be able to go be a lawyer and do something cool. I am going to be stuck taking care of this child. I indulged these thoughts for a while before realizing, geez, I have a lot of work to do. I am nowhere near embracing this vocation to be a wife and mother like I should. I need a lot of grace, a lot of help.

All in all, it was a long day at the doctors....more scares, ultrasounds, leaving my girls with strangers.....it was enough to tire me out!!!!

And no, I didn't find out if it was a boy or girl. I need that surprise to get me through the next 20-22 weeks.

Day 3

Well, the novelty has worn off. When it takes over an hour for a two year old to go to sleep I pretty much lose it. I should have started bedtime a half hour earlier. Live and learn. It all goes back to discipline. Today just reminded me that I can't do this without grace- because the first 2 days were too easy!

Tomorrow I get up close and personal with the wee one- the 20 week ultrasound. That is of course if everyone is well. There were complaints of tummy aches at bedtime and fire swamp noises from the top bunk. God preserve us! :)

Day 2

We're surviving. This is going to take a lot of discipline-on my part! I can't stay up night. Biki and the Conqueror report they miss dad and are sad. Bean keeps asking about "my dad?"..."my dad?"..."my dad?"

I have already had people call to check on me and someone at school, embarassingly enough, wants to do meals for us. I would like to hold off until Rocky IV appears, but we'll see. I need to work on humility.

Words from the peanut gallery-
Conqueror: I am trying to do well in school. It is kind of sad we won't play any chess games for a long time. The tree cutters and lawn care guys came yesterday and it was cool watching them. Bye.

Biki: I have a little cold but I have lots of snotty noses too. And I miss you. I love you but I am going to write some notes to you. I am going to make some pictures to you to send in the mail.

Bean: Daddee....no.............ga........smile......hold up five fingers. Bye dadee.

We had a Megyver moment- I had to figure out how to fix the garage door. Mission accomplished. For the record, I didn't break it. The lawnmower guys did. : )

So it begins......
We dropped P. off at the airport this morning. A few tears (mostly mine) and promise of McDonald's and things cleared up. So we went to mass, got our Sausage McGriddles and dropped off the Conqueror. Hopefully he'll be ok at school today.

This was the dry run since we'll see him at Thanksgiving and do another drop off then. Then we won't see him for 7 months. We're about to test the graces of marriage and family in a new way. I feel like my writing skills have atrophied as of late so this will be an attempt to work on those, keep P. apprised of things at home, and possibly amuse others or at least myself. I will need some amusement these next few months!