Megnanimity

Long overdue Momoisms.

2011-12-31T21:08:00.003-05:00

You know they have been coming for some time, but they have just been undocumented. Until now.
*******

Mom, why don't you give the baby to dad. Then I can sit in your lap. That would be awesome!!!!

N.B. There is apparently an awesome dance which dad has witnessed on occasion.

*******
Momo came up and squeezed my girth and asked, "Is dare a baby in there?"
"Nope," I replied, "just fat."
"But," she answered, "dare is a SWIMMING POOL for babies in dare!!!!"
Then she ran off.

***********

"Momo, you need to be good for Jesus."

"For Jesus?" (like she'd just heard of the guy. I must be down on the job.)

"Yes, for Jesus."

"Is he going to babysit for us? "

Because let's face it, she's only good for babysitters.

**********

"Momo, why did you come into our room last night?"

"Because Beanie was making noises."

"What kind of noise?"

"Like a pig! OINK!"

Sister needs some breathe right strips!

Bean Dream

2011-12-19T19:14:00.002-05:00

Beanie had a dream the other night where Cinderella got bombed by her fairy godmother. I guess she's been hanging out with her big brother too much. Bippittey Boppity BOOM!

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire.

2011-10-17T11:54:00.002-04:00

I don't know who these people are who say that after 3 or 4 or whatever it just gets easier. I think they might be delusional, or just lying.

D-Day dedication

2011-09-28T11:57:00.002-04:00

In honor of my super sure to be right due date that got moved back over 3 weeks I want to dedicate today to T.U.M.S. because I don't think I could have made it this far today without you. (And don't worry....I said my morning offering so my day is officially dedicated to God. But Tums is a real close second.) How else can I tell the difference between going into labor and nasty indigestion???

t-minus 2 to 4 days

2011-09-26T18:53:00.002-04:00

Well, my due date ticker says 2 more days and there's an induction scheduled for Friday at 6am if baby doesn't show up for his or her personalized due date. Oh well, we shall see. It is weird actually thinking I might go into labor on my own in the next few days (I'm one for 4 on that concept so far). It makes for weird planning. I have a plan for the day with the constant caveat- I will do this, IF I don't have a baby. It is just a very weird season.

The momo is painfully aware of some big changes coming her way. She loves the baby and every night gives it hugs and snuggle buggles and a kiss from everyone in the family. Then she finishes her routine by sticking her head in front of my stomach and saying "I want you to come out!" She asks me all the time, "You hold me and the baby when the baby come out?" And I have to explain she will have her turn, can sit next to me, etc but I won't be able to hold them both in my arms at once. But she has taken her graduation to big girl very seriously. If you call her a baby, even in a nice way, she retorts, "I not a baby! I a big girl." And at night prayers during the litany of saints she often insists on saying "St. Big Girl, Pray for us." Indeed....we just might need the intercession of the patron saint of big girls around here.

Pop Quiz- Crazy Pregnant Lady Edition

2011-09-01T20:32:00.004-04:00

I am a firm believer that ALL pregnant women go insane at the end of pregnancy in some way shape or form. It is truly universal, I am not trying to make myself feel better. I'm really not. Each pregnancy the insanity has taken a different form, but it has always been there. I will obsess about things, brood, generally walk around mentally confused and often talk to myself. Oh and don't forget the insomnia!

Anyway, here's the quiz.

In the last week what weird things have I done?
A. Reorganized my bookshelves by splitting them into hardbacks and paperbacks and then placing them on the shelf by genre.
B. Bought multiple desserts at the grocery store and consumed them furtively, only to be caught by husband eating my second dessert after dinner while writing a blog post.
C. Called up a publisher to track down a book only to discover my all time favorite book is now out of print. Proceeded to lecture the poor man on why the book was desperately needed and then threatened to buy the publishing rights.*
D. Bought 3 copies of the book in question off of ebay.
E. All of the above.

*without first consulting my husband.

I sense a pattern.

2011-08-23T16:05:00.003-04:00

Step 1- Try to do a lot of work because I am behind.
Step 2- Get dehydrated and get contractions. (did I mention it is still 100 degrees? GRRR)
Step 3- Sit down and drink tons of water, thereby getting behind.
Step 4- Get contractions from having to go to bathroom due to tons of water drinking.
Step 5- Go to the bathroom and rest some more.
Step 6- Cut back a bit on the water so I can stop the contractions.
Step 7- Repeat steps 1 through 6 for the next 5 weeks.

O.bama as theologian

2011-08-02T07:23:00.002-04:00

There was a quote from our esteemed president in the WSJ this morning in regard to the budget talks. Apparently during the course of the negotiations he started using a phrase from sort of catholic VP Bi.den- "There's no point dying on a small cross." Thousands of people will read those words today. I am sure most won't even think about them short of an implicit agreement. But think about it....the President and VP couldn't be more wrong.

I know the quote was in reference to budget talks and I understand that negotiations are negotiations but I couldn't help thinking of all the times when I have given in to that advice to the detriment of my family, my friends, or myself. If there's no point dying on a small cross then there's no point is smiling when I want to frown, keeping calm when I want to yell, or sticking to my prayers when I don't feel like it.

St. Therese of Liseux and St. Josemaria have wrote many words on this topic more eloquent than I ever could. Look them up. But the point is really to ask ourselves how could we be ready to die on a big cross, should it ever come to that, if we can't do it in the little things? I think it is so easy for us to think, "Oh, I could never do something like X"....but is that really true if we aren't denying ourselves in the little things? I know for myself the honest answer is "no".

Fast Friday (because I am too busy for the real thing)

2011-07-04T22:11:00.005-04:00

1. Toddler grammar never ceases to amuse me. Good thing too because it won't be letting up around here anytime soon. Momo's current favorites:
"Please you help me."
"Please you get me water."
"Get down me please."
and switching up "d's" and "b's" is the best. So "diaper" becomes "biaper" etc.

2. Speaking of Momo I am not sure if I have mentioned that she is obsessed with her dad. Literally. She follows him around when he's home, wants to know where he is all day, and is excited because "Daddy on vacation!" means she gets to see him.

3. I have pre-vacation OCD, and it isn't pretty. It is a real disease, just ask my husband.

Little Miss Sunshine

2011-07-04T22:07:00.004-04:00

Someone has been hearing her mom complain about Bubba's fireworks keeping her up past her bedtime!

Tonight as our annual neighborhood "show" got started for the second night in a row Beanie rolled over after a particularly loud run and stated matter of factly, "Somebody has been drinking too much alcohol!"

Rebel Mom

2011-06-14T13:22:00.004-04:00

Can I make a confession?

I hate Vacation Bible Schools, and youth masses, and christian rock music too. I am not even sure how I feel about youth groups, although I know they are invaluable for some kids. I actually think I would love youth ministry because goodness knows I can get all fired up about stuff and I think kids appreciate authenticity. I just don't like certain approaches that I saw growing up. I don't know anything about my current parish youth group except that the people who run it love God immensely and are true servants of the Church. But I have to admit when the bulletin runs testimonials from youth conference attendees about being given "the gift of tears" I get really uncomfortable. I worry that there is a trend in youth ministry that relies too heavily on emotions and feelings.

Only since moving south have I realized how much of an "outcast" this makes me. Ok, I am not an outcast, but I certainly have a difference of opinion on this matter with many of my favorite faithful catholics. I always sort of demurred along the lines of "Oh Gee, it really isn't my style". But then I happened upon this article and it really bolstered me and made me more confident in my opinions. Read it.

http://catholiceducation.org/articles/history/world/wh0105.html

And of course, in five years when I have a teenager he might be the next Michael W. Smith or something and I will have to eat my hat. But I can assure you that before then I will have introduced him to classical music and all sorts of modern music that is "appropriate"!

Summer is going awesome...sort of.

2011-06-01T17:06:00.003-04:00

It is 5pm.

The sprinklers are on, because I was just too tired to take them to the pool in the heat late and we spent the morning with workmen at the house.

Spaghetti is cooking, pantry style, because I was too tired to take them to the grocery store.

The 2 year old is on the back deck in her birthday suit because she got wet from the sprinklers and didn't like it. Thank goodness for fenced in yards.

2 hours till baseball practice and 3.5 till bedtime!

Delusions of Grandeur

2011-05-24T07:17:00.004-04:00

Beanie, the 4 year old, is in the wedding obsession phase of life right now. I don't think I ever went through this phase, but my daughters seem to. Anyway, she's obsessed with the fact that she's never been a flower girl and doesn't have any immediate prospects either.

"Mom, when am I going to be a flower girl?"
"I don't know Beanie. I don't know anyone getting married."
Audible sigh and eye roll from her. "That princess should have asked me!"

You know that princess of England? That one. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised considering that Beanie talks regularly of wanting to be a princess when she grows up. I feel like I must have done something wrong somewhere! : )

No B.S.!!!!!!!!!!

2011-05-18T09:47:00.002-04:00

I am a sucker for a modesty discussion on a blog. I feel VERY strongly about modesty when apparently the whole world does not. I want to scream when I see young tweens and teens dressing like hoo.kers. (Can I say that in a family blog? Oh well, I just said BS)
Now, as background you should know I love being on the anti-bikini bandwagon. The other day I supported an older mother whose daughter was complaining to me, in front of her mom, that her mom wouldn't let her wear one and her jaw dropped when I said her mom was dead right. I think the daughter somehow thought that because I was younger I would be on her side. Sorry kid, I speak truth to power on this subject when ever I can.

The other day I was shopping at a resale shop for a suit for Biki and the lady kept pushing "inappropriate" swimwear to me. "But look, this one is so cute and it's Li.ly Pulli.tzer, even if it is a midriff baring one!" Like I am going to lower my standards because its a freaking designer suit. Anyway, I finally had to set her straight, lovingly of course, that I was the type of mother who would never let her daughter wear a bikini EVER when she lived under my roof. Yes, I said that. And then I heard another lady start going "Woot, Woot! Me too!" in the next aisle. It was hilarious. Then she said the saying in her house was "Modest is hottest." Ok, not exactly what we're going for but I appreciated that moment of solidarity. I can't understand why it is ok to wear something to the pool that you would NEVER, EVER, answer your front door in. Oh wait you mean people just don't normally walk around in their undies? But I digress.

Getting back to the title of this post, I was recently reading a post by a mother agonizing about whether or not to let her daughter wear a bikini. Why people agonize over this, I don't know. Perhaps because my 4 sisters and I emerged unscathed and empowered from a no bikini rule that I have no problems with enforcing one. This post was tortured in nature, and I didn't comment. BUT I saw the most awesome comment about a modesty rule that I wanted to share with you, my 10 dear readers. Are you ready?

THE RULE IS NO B.S.!
*No Bellies Showing
*No Bra Straps Showing
*No Breasts Showing (i.e. cleavage)
*No Backsides showing
*No Bums/Bottoms showing

THIS IS PURE GENIUS! I am totally stealing it and promoting it. The mother also said she strove to balance the rule with cute shoes/ accessories/ coverups for the pool so the girls still felt trendy. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!

That is all!

Just one of the kids....

2011-05-17T23:40:00.002-04:00

My 6 ft 3 inch brother came to visit this weekend with my parents. The best part about having a "baby brother" is that my children really think that he is one of them. They chide him for taking more breakfast sausages then they are allowed to have because "Kids only get two!". They wondered if he was old enough to "stay at home by hisself." And they use phrases like "we" when talking about childhood adventures because they consider him to be one of them.

I hope he isn't offended, it is just their of way of showing acceptance! The best part was when I told them to prepare that he'd be sleepy after just finishing exams. All they wanted to know was whether they could put Bean.ie Bab.ies all over him just like he used to do to me when I would pass out on the floor from post exam exhaustion. Ahh...family traditions.

Man oh Man!

2011-05-11T22:54:00.000-04:00

My little friend Momo has this most hilarious habit involving the frustration of her will to dominate the world. Whenever she is told something the conversation always goes something like this:

"Momo, we can't go outside right now."
"OH, MAN!"

You really have to get the inflection, I will have to post audio.

Sanity Fail!

2011-05-04T16:52:00.001-04:00

Taking four children to S.ams.Club right after school. I even gave out cookies in an attempt to keep the 2 year old in the cart. If you were theer and heard an angry toddler screaming on every aisle about the fact that she wanted to use the "baby potty" in the family restroom, yeah, that would have been us.

The Limits of Christian Charity?!?!

2011-04-30T23:05:00.003-04:00

Let's face it. People are quite rude, I am quite rude, my children can be quite rude. Usually, I try to grin and bear it and think the best when someone snorts at me in the grocery line or harrumphs in church. But lately, I have been tested in ways I never thought possible.

Why? My burgeoning belly has begun to elicit the most ridiculous and rude comments and inquiries imaginable, particularly when I am out with my entire brood. I guess even down here in the South where 4 children is fairly socially acceptable 5 somehow surpasses the bounds of decency and they forget all about those manners their mommas drilled into them. Admittedly, my hormone surge makes me a little more ornery than normal. To quote a beloved cousin in law's term, I am a "grumpy pregnant woman." And perhaps, oh just perhaps, there's a tad bit of trepidation concerning the pending expansion of our family and my belly. BUT COME ON PEOPLE! THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK! If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. I generally answer something like, "Oh hahahaha, my husband and I are both from big families and we know what we are getting into!" or "We'll see what God gives us." But those answers don't satisfy people. They seriously want numbers, ages, college savings account balances. It is out of control.

It has really gotten to the point that I have had to contemplate that being "truly pro-life" means not slugging or killing the next person that asks me if I am "done." I know, deep down, that most of these people don't mean to be rude, they are just generally curious about it, like we're a circus sideshow or something. It is really the comments from fellow churchgoers that get me the most.

So, in the event I lose the ability to control myself here's my plan on how to answer these constant inquiries. My options:

a)Quote my friend's husband and say, "We'll stop when we get an ugly one!" That's the nice, funny answer that totally avoids the issue.

b)Quote my aunt's friend with a comment like, "Well, gosh, I don't know. How many do you think I should have??" and then stare at them blankly. And then if they still don't get it ask them exactly why they stopped at (insert number here) and if they were done. Sadly, I don't think throwing the question back at them would really get my point across.

c)Tell them I am single handily trying to save Social Security by increasing the number of future workers.

c)Get a belly tattoo with the quote "responsible parenthood is exercised, either by the deliberate and generous decision to raise a numerous family, or by the decision, made for grave (serious? You duke it out!) motives and with due respect for the moral law, to avoid for the time being, or even for an indeterminate period, a new birth" from 10th paragraph of Humanae Vitae which I will then flash at people when they ask me about my future plans. I will then remark, "this is how we are living responsible parenthood" and add a really charitable "Take that you nazi cow!" (Did I mention this is really, really getting to me?)

Cynic.

2011-04-28T22:01:00.003-04:00

I am fairly certain I am the only female in the free world who really doesn't care about the royal wedding. Sorry, I was never into the princess thing as a child and I have a daughter whose greatest ambition in life is to become a princess. So guess what? She doesn't even know about the royal wedding. I just can only take so much princessness. She doesn't need to be fed anymore. If she needs therapy when she's older, I will spring for it.

Because I am one of those people who only posts cutesy kids stuff.

2011-03-31T14:28:00.002-04:00

And I am ok with that, really.

* The other day we went past the infamous restaurant H, double o, you probably can figure out the rest. It seems that emergent readers just can't resist sounding out the letters of the bright orange sign. Biki immediately sounded it out and asked, "Mom, what's H ** #@&$?" Oh Bik, it isn't an appropriate place. "Is it for kids?" No. "Is it for adults?" No. "Who is it for?" No one should go there, Bik. It isn't appropriate. "Well, who is it for?" "Jerks" said her big brother, who sounded out the same word about a year and a half ago. Lest you think anything at all get past kids.

*Beanie asked the other day, "Mom, how did God make himself?" He didn't Biki. He's always been here. "Well, who made God?" Nobody made God, he's always been. "WHAT THE....?" she replied.

Let the dreams begin....

2011-03-21T16:15:00.002-04:00

Psycho pregnancy dreams have begun in earnest. We're talking crazy stuff. Weird fights between P and I about stuff that never happened but I wake up in the middle of the night mad as a hornet. Then there was the one with an acquaintance at church adopting 10 children from New Orleans. And our Vietnamese associate pastor carrying twin boys, blond with blue eyes, in one Baby B.jorn. The weirdest thing about all this is that I remember these things vividly. Don't tick me off anytime soon I might end up doing something awful to you in my dreams. Bwah hah hah hah haaa.

Not getting it....

2011-03-09T18:05:00.002-05:00

The Momo edition.

*CRASH! BANG! "Not me! Not me!" says Momo before I even have time to ask who did what.

*She got ashes today. She gave the poor woman a dirty look after the deed but said nothing. We got back to the pew and she promptly went into my purse, got out a wipe and wiped off her forhead multiple times. Once she wiped it clean she gave me a dirty look and smirked as if to say, "I showed you people!"

Rant

2011-03-08T18:33:00.002-05:00

Dear Snobby Overpriced Chain Women's Clothing Store,

We used to have a good relationship. I would go to you and spend a lot of money and you didn't mind that I brought my kids. In fact, you had a kids bench with toys and books in your dressing room. But now the price of an embellished t-shirt has risen to $40 bucks, yes forty bucks, and my kids are no longer welcome. Don't think I don't notice that no one greets me when I walk into your store with a toddler even though there is no one else there. Or that no one, once, speaks to me or asks me if I need help the whole time I am there. OR, to make matters worse, you did greet and help other people who came in after me. I heard your online maternity line is cute, but you guys must really not get your demographic if you are going to treat mothers like dirt in the store. I will go elsewhere thank you very much.

That is all.

Testing

2011-03-03T18:44:00.003-05:00

Some awesome audio... because you know we don't do pictures on this blog!

Let me 'splain....no it is too much. Let me sum up.

2011-03-01T21:12:00.002-05:00

In the past week:

*The car got stolen because there are bad people AND I am an idiot who leaves spare keys in the glove box.

*The car came back to us after being rifled through and driven across town.

*I had to go down to the county police complex and spring my car. Brought the two little girls and was waiting around reading signs like "We accept s*x offenders on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays for Processing. No s*x offenders on Tuesdays and Thursdays." It was Wednesday. I was scared. The girls couldn't understand why I was so cross. "Get right over here and sit next to me. NOW!"

*I had my locks rekeyed in the house.

*I had to tell the locksmith "I know it looks like my house was ransacked, but it wasn't. It has just been a bad week."

*I haven't folded a single piece of laundry. Every day we just rifle through it looking for what we need. I wonder if there is therapy for this.

*I told me husband we had to announce number 5's pending arrival because wearing fat pants is not cutting it. "Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking like a fool with my pants on the ground." I need to bust out maternity clothes a full 7 months before the due date. Wowsers.

*Have had all 3 big kids come up to me, stick their faces in front of my stomach and talk to the baby. It's real cute and you realize how excited they are.

*My son is ecstatic at the prospect of a *possible* brother. Every time he sees me, he comes up and greets his "little friend" as he call him/her.

I've created a southerner...

2011-02-26T17:55:00.001-05:00

Momo has only known the South. I guess it is entirely natural then that she has picked up the southern dialect.

"Momo, can you come here please?"
"Yessss, mam!"

She says it all the time and every time it makes me laugh.

Stop the madness.

2011-02-14T21:17:00.002-05:00

My relationship with Valentine's Day is ever so complicated. This stems mainly from the fact that my husband HATES Valentine's Day, and as much as I want him to want to do the dishes (to quote a movie trailer- from a movie I never saw- that I find to be an apt description of male/female relations on occasion) it really isn't worth it! Besides, I really don't like what Valentine's seems to have become anyway. So, to content myself with the status quo I just go about celebrating the anniversary of the founding of the women's branch of Opus Dei. Thus, I get my treats, the kids get theirs, and everybody's happy. But today, I was reminded of how crazy V-day has become. I was in Sam's Club and some young guy was trying to get the butcher to cut him a piece of beef in the shape of a heart. You should have seen the look on the butcher's face as he said, "You want what?!?!"

Stop the madness and make the heart shaped meatloaf like I am going to next year!

P's working so excuse me while I go help myself to some chocolate! HAH!

22 months!

2011-02-10T21:45:00.002-05:00

Today Momo is two months from being two, but for all intents and purposes she already acts like a two year old. I should have known after she refused to come out during the first induction attempt that I had a feisty one on my hands!! Her absolute favorite phrase is "I don't know" pronounced with various inflections and sounding more like "I dohn nho". It is her response to pretty much every question.

Momo why were you playing with knives? I dohn nho.
Momo why did you draw on yourself with a sharpie? I dohn nho.
Momo where is your cup? I dohn nho.
Momo why are you so cute? I dohn nho.

(And for the record she was busted by older siblings this week for both playing with knives- which she got from using a chair to climb up on the counter- and sharpies- which she got from getting a chair and climbing up on a desk- all while her mother was off eating bon bons or something.)

Tonight we were doing a lice check because there is yet another infestation at school. (It is called a nit comb people- use it!!!) I checked everyone and she insisted on beign checked. Multiple times. She would cry "Me lice. Me lice! Me lice!" after I stopped in an effort to get me to check her again. Here's to hoping that phrase doesn't start getting used in places like church and the grocery store.

Momo-isms: The First Installment

2011-01-26T09:04:00.002-05:00

This post is long overdue but I just wanted to chronicle the life and times of Momo, toddler in residence. Momo is a busy, busy little bee. She is into anything and everything. Just last night we were all getting ready to go to the Conqueror's first confession when things got dangerously quiet in my closet of all places. We found her covered in foot powder and she had dumped a half a bottle in one pair of shoes. Ahhhh... life with toddlers. She's talking up quite a storm. She even sings. Her favorite little song is "Happy Jeez" which is, I believe, supposed to be a short form of Happy Birthday Jesus from Christmas time, but I don't know for sure. She'll just walk around singing it. And to balance things out she also walks around the house karate-chopping and saying "Hi-YAH" as well. She loves "Gogs" a/k/a dogs and to "read" and play the "Wee" where she waits patiently for her turn with the controller on Friday nights. She asks where the big guys are all day....you can hear her talking to herself "Biki....kool", "Dad- whrork" etc. She also calls the Bean "me" which makes for some interesting conversation decoding.

Good wife/ Bad wife

2011-01-20T11:46:00.002-05:00

The good wife offers to change her day's plan to take her husband's car into the shop, get all the necessary services done, go the extra mile and fix something that's broken and get it under warranty.

The bad wife wrecks her husband's car in the afternoon on the way to pick up the kids, thereby saddling her family with hundreds of dollars in expenses, the aggravation of needing a rental, and not to mention higher insurance premiums.

The good husband takes this all in stride very graciously despite his wife's hellacious (sp?) maiming of his favorite material possession. Never a dull moment!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-01-19T14:37:00.002-05:00

(From last fall)

SNOW 2011

2011-01-11T10:37:00.001-05:00

The first one is to show that two of the pictures were taken by Beanie!! It was really a lot of ice....but hey we're on our second snow day!!

Snapshot

2010-12-17T23:38:00.002-05:00

It is 11:30pm on a Friday night and I am downstairs with a very awake Momo. Momo doesn't go to bed very well for babysitters so I made sure she had a good, long, and late nap. It would have been the perfect scenario if we had actually used the babysitter. But sadly, my husband was called in early this morning and spent all day in the OR. Didn't get home until an hour and half after the Christmas party was supposed to start and was slightly tired after 4 hours of sleep last night. He goes weeks without being called in and I always get slightly annoyed having to pretend that he's not going to be around when he's on call (which seems like all the time except two weekends a month). But then you have a time when you make plans even though he's on call and get burned and it all makes sense. At least it was just an office party. I am pretty sure the other surgeons understand! : )

Bottom of the Barrell

2010-12-15T16:46:00.002-05:00

I haven't gone grocery shopping this week (see below re: sick children) so we have no food. So....Beanie asked me what was for lunch.

"Mom..what's for lunch?"
"I don't know we don't have any food."
Beanie opens the fridge, "We've got food Mom. There's salami, ketchup, and Guinness. You're so silly!"

That's my girl.

The Grinch

2010-12-15T09:12:00.002-05:00

Lately I have just been grousing about how much I hate the commercialism of Christmas. I am thinking that gift giving isn't my love language right now. I stress about getting the kids too much or too little or over emphasizing or underemphasizing gifts and Santa and baby Jesus. And I hate all the 80 million errands I have to run. Well, I don't really hate errands, I just hate running errands with a 20 month old who tries to jump out of the cart, hides in clothing racks, and screams when she can't buy every "rella" thing or pink purse she sees at TJ maxx. It just seems like we're either going strong, too strong, or sick at home and unable to run all those errands that need to get done. (we've had 5 sick days in the last two weeks!)

I AM trying to ramp it into high gear...we did a little baking (thank you premade sugar cookie dough, I am not afraid to cut corners), I let the kids wrap their own gifts (talk about abandonment), and sometimes I wear a Santa hat. HO HO HO!!

Truly, the kids are getting super excited about our upcoming trip. They are OBSESSED with the advent calendar and wreath and every day I find our nativity set in a different pose (sheep on the roof, sheep in baby Jesus' manger, conga line etc.. We even started listening to some carols in the car just to get pumped up. We still haven't decorated much but since the pink candle is lit I had better get cracking!!!

Have I told you that Momo's name for Beanie is actually "Me"? That sort of gets confusing after a while. You never know if she's talking about herself or her sister and they are together all the time.

In other news, I recently went grocery shopping on a Friday night. That was sort of sad....the two songs "All the lonely people" from the Beatles and Garth Brooks' "I am much too young to be this damn old" kept going through my head. To top it all off the next day the Conqueror asked me if I was alive during WW II and later that day Beanie asked me if I had ever seen a dinosaur!! : )

Scenes from the food warehouse

2010-12-01T08:15:00.003-05:00

*Santa Claus in full regalia except hat was buying three large vats of candy canes. It was sort of an awkward moment for everyone under 5. He uses Mastercard by the way. Priceless.

*A mean man... why do people berate their spouses and children in public. I can only imagine what he does in private. For once I remembered to pray.

*Why at the store with the absolute biggest cart that can fit both little girls do they insist on not wanting to sit up front? The carts are much shallower here too, so basket sitting is discouraged. So essentially I walked the aisles with Momo under my arm.

Road Trip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-11-28T16:45:00.002-05:00

Ah yes, how I love to travel with small children. Every trip it is the same cycle. I have a psycho streak about traveling. It stresses me out. I agonize about traveling, finally plan the trip, agonize some more but pump everyone up about it, "Won't it be so fun to go see ... (insert loving family member here)...?", and then stay up late the night before a trip figuring out exactly how to pack the van or the carry on bags for maximum efficiency and space. I mean doesn't everyone wake up in a cold sweat the night before a nine hour road trip terrified that the Desitin won't be readily available? God forbid there be a freaking Walgreens along I-95. Be prepared, it isn't just for the boy scouts you know.

But you know... there are some things you can never really be prepared for. Like everyone in your family getting a stomach bug over a three night span, ending with you and your husband the night before a road trip. It is a good thing I analogize travel with labor, because I know how to do labor. Sips of water? Check! Not eating for hours at a time? Check! Random stomach cramps? Check! Driving after not sleeping? Check (I mean if I can deliver babies I can drive through pain right? Right.) Kids vomiting? Ok, that never happens in labor but you get the idea. And nobody diss the 100 hour physician in training work weeks... that saved us. My man knows how to work under severe duress. He's awesome...packed the whole car and drove 5 hours on no sleep due to taking care of me and the baby and two other vomiting children. All so he could go on call as soon as we came home and go to work at 7am the next morning.

Seriously, our entire family decided to take this rotten economy thing to a whole new level and never stopped for food the whole trip home. We subsisted on water, saltines, plain white bagels, and 7up. I swear if I never take another sip of 7up it will be too soon. The four year old was the sickest child and our little Pollyanna morphed into some sort of angry alien. Talk about no filter. I remember moving in and out of consciousness to bits and pieces of the folowing:
"I am so angry that my brother has his own room. Road trips are no fun. I don't want to leave Grandma's. I am so angry we aren't driving to Chicago. I don't want to drive to Chicago. I don't want to fly. I am so angry that I can't have a Friday treat. My stomach hurts. I am so angry... (the kid apparently has a lot of anger.)" The baby was having a really hard time too...especially since the trip culminated in her being ignored for two hours and exploding a glow stick all over herself. Don't ask, at least it was non-toxic.

I post all this a)so you feel sorry for me b)so I remember to laugh about it 20 years from now when we are sitting around the Thanksgiving table as children wretch in the background. "Ahh kids, remember when..." and c)because it really shows how blessed a life I live that this is my biggest problem. Sometimes I need to remind myself of this. My kids were champs and offered up the road trip from hell for little kids and priests with cancer, other sick people, and for the sibilings among them the most affected. We are blessed.

The Bern.stein Bears and too much P.B.S.kids.org

2010-11-14T16:48:00.001-05:00

We were at dinner the other night and Beanie announced: "I am going to tell a joke!" and then proceeded to wave her hands around saying "Loading, loading, loading" before she told it. Almost as good as Biki insisting we "pause game" in the middle of 1.2.3.Hushpuppy.

Things I never thought I would ever have to say:

2010-11-10T08:49:00.003-05:00

"Please don't poke your sandwich with that crucifix." There, don't we sound crazy? It was just a little one that someone was playing with all day and made its way to the lunch table. Go figure.

The Famly Crcus

2010-11-06T10:40:00.002-04:00

Remember that cartoon and Mr. Not Me? Well around here we've got a different problem.

Mom: Who got out the peanut butter?
Conqueror: Not me!
Biki: Not me!
Beanie: Not me!
Momo: Me! Me! Me!
Beanie: It was Momo!
Mom: Beanie you are busted!

Momo is doing the verbal explosion and LOVES the fact that she can talk!!!

The Princess Diaries

2010-10-29T20:30:00.002-04:00

When I started out as a mother I was convinced that I was going to avoid all things "princess." I didn't care for it, half the princesses were not dressed appropriately, my daughters won't need such sentimental crap. Fast forward 6 years... I pick my battles and appropriately dressed princesses are a-ok around here. The love of princesses is being passed down from sister to sister to sister. Just the other evening at bedtime we had a little helen keller moment with our budding talker. Momo pointed to her sister's princess nightgown and started yelling "Wrella, Wrella, Wrella." She was pointing to C*nderella! Needless to say her sisters were overjoyed and Momo has been finding "Wrella" everywhere else since then!

And a beanieism just for fun. We have guests over and Beanie announced at dinner "If you want to have some more wine you can have some!" We all laughed and said she was a kind hostess and she replied, "Well yes, I am nice."

Homecoming...

2010-10-16T15:59:00.003-04:00

The Doctor is in!

On our way home the kids were explaining to him that they were writing messages on the dusty windows of the cars. Biki told him, "I wrote 'Welcome home...blah, blah, blah' on the back of your car!" I think she's over this whole concept of dad leaving and returning.

Choose your own adventure....

2010-10-13T16:46:00.002-04:00

Directions: Choose one letter to answer the question.

1. What did I do today?

a. drove past the pick up window and almost forgot to retrieve my coffee from Mickey D's.

b. found a googlely eye staring up at me from a dirty diaper.

c. accepted the gift of a RAW egg that was brought upstairs to me by a very careful 18 month old and brought it downstairs to find a cracked egg courtesy of a more reckless 3.75 year old.

d. all of the above

Lions and Tigers and Bears...oh my!

2010-10-10T22:11:00.002-04:00

We went to the zoo today! It was an easy trip and the kids enjoyed themselves immensely. Momo was quite fond of the zipping penguins and Beanie was enamoured of some bunnies in the farm section. They are her "favoritist animal ever"!

It was an excellent place for people watching...which is another way of saying I am SO GLAD I NEVER GOT A TATTOO!

One thing that had me laughing all day was something I overheard a woman saying to an ostrich: "You wouldn't fit in my oven!"

7 Quick Takes

2010-10-08T21:39:00.002-04:00

One of my favorite blogs does this....

1. Extreme Makeover Home Edition always makes me cry...but the one they aired last week on Respect Life Sunday was the best ever. It was a family of 8 adopted adults whose parents had passed away. The 6 youngest all had downs syndrome and the two older ones had moved home to take care of them. It was really beautiful and they were totally catholic...living on Long Island, dad was a firefighter, statue of Mary in the yard, crucifixes on the walls. Anyway you should go watch it online at abc's website.

2. On respect life Sunday we went to the life chain. I didn't want to go but a certain 8 year old who just figured out what abortion is DID want to go so off we went. A news camera came and filmed footage. There were a lot of families there, a lot of kids, a lot of young people and young moms. Who did the woman choose to interview? An old white guy. Luckily I know him and I know he's a physician and eloquent, but still. That just bothers me.

3. Wrinkles + zits = unfair.

4. I don't know whether to be mortified or edified that my son was given a new pair of shoelaces by his teacher because his old ones were worn out. Yes, I had noticed it but it really hadn't got up too high on my priority list. He informed me "she just had them" at school. Oh how I wish. I fear I am turning into *that* mom.

5. Speaking of *that* mom, I feel like we are always on the verge of chaos. Unfortunately, sometimes our delicate system breaks down...like when I rely on the fact that a 6 year old will remember their lunch or a 3 year old will remember shoes for Sunday mass. Then I just want to lose it but I think it is best just to enjoy the ride!

6. Did you know that in a pinch the armrest covers for booster seats can be used as booties? (see above.)

7. I could write a whole post on fashion and how more and more I am feeling I am in a really weird place. I am much too old for certain trends (lumberjack plaid? been there, done that) and I am not sure where to look for clothes anymore. Just walking past "Forever 21" makes me embarrassed. I went in there a while back looking for the cheap jewelry with about 3 kids in tow and the sales teenagers pretty much sneered at me! And today I saw an older woman, probably 20 to 25 years my senior, looking very sharp in the exact same top I just got. She looked really great but that was depressing. Oh well.

1 more week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wolf scouts!

2010-10-07T21:14:00.002-04:00

We (ok...I) signed the Conqueror up for cub scouts. He is ecstatic. It is the cutest thing. He's pouring over his handbook and getting excited about badges. He's desperate to sell loads of popcorn. But the cutest thing was when I was putting the baby down tonight I could hear him in his room singing little cub scout songs and trying to remember the cub scout promise. He was doing it earlier too...raising his fingers in their little salute and squinting his eyes and sticking his tounge out trying to remember the words. CUTENESS!

You're stretching kid.

2010-10-04T22:08:00.002-04:00

Beanie has taken P's absence rather hard. She doesn't like the fact he's gone and expresses it often. She also uses the fact that she "misses her daddy" as an excuse to not do anything I ask her. Don't get me wrong, she's had genuine bouts of uncontrolled sobbing that breaks my heart. But there is another element at play as well. It is almost as though she wants to see what she can actually get away with, so to speak. Case in point: This morning she was famished and I stil had errands to run so I gave her some french fries from McDonald's (and if you judge me you can just go read some other blog.) Then later on the day she starts whining uncontrollably for fries again. I keep telling her no and she tries a different tactic.

"I miss my daddy. And I need to get french fries because my daddy's gone. And my daddy likes french fries. So I need french fries because I love my daddy."

Nice try.

How quickly they forget....

2010-09-29T22:05:00.002-04:00

It was ridiculously hot here last week...we're talking 99 degrees hot. But now we're cooling off. This morning on the way to school I remarked on the change and pointed out that the car said it was "only 66 degrees outside!"

Biki immediately exclaimed, "Quick mom, put dowm my window. I want to see if I can see my breath!!"

I would say her blood has successfully thinned.

Hitting the wall....

2010-09-28T22:07:00.002-04:00

I don't have much to report because I was always a good little girl who took the saying "if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all" very seriously!

We're almost halfway there people!!

On a side note....first Friday is this friday and maybe I am just a little late jumping on this bandwagon but I am aiming to make this devotion this year. It is a total no brainer. And at the risk of trying to game the system I am going to do it with each of my children after they make their first communion. Is that wrong? I hope not.

Who cooks for y'all????

2010-09-26T18:59:00.002-04:00

We have a lovely owl in our backyard and we've heard him off and on for a few years. We got a really good look at him yesterday...a barred owl.

PHOTOS!

2010-09-21T16:02:00.002-04:00

A wow moment.

2010-09-19T23:08:00.002-04:00

I am not exactly a positive person. My husband has referred to me as a "cheerful pessimist" and we've all heard the one about the glass is half full.....so I am very thankful for any "wow" moments I experience.

Things haven't been exactly going swimmingly around here since P. took off for 5 weeks in Texas. Lots of wailing and gnashing of teeth, and that's just on my end. (Seriously, every time he leaves I have to bust out my mouth guard.) When the going gets tough around here with crying, fighting and sullen attitudes we just leave. Getting out of the house seems to do wonders for them. We did a balloon festival Friday night, stayed at home all day Saturday except for a rather flawed outing to Sam's club before dinner. (I don't know what I was thinking either.) Today we went all around town taking pictures for a project for my son's local history project. We attended an art festival, saw the science center and the river and even went to the museum where the local symphony had an instrument petting zoo. The kids loved it....I think all 3 want to have violin lessons now.

Anyway, the "wow" moment occurred at the Arts festival. When we were going to get our food there was some new age dance group on the stage with modes of dress and movement that we have deemed "inappropriate." It was dancing with the stars, belly dancing, beyonce and muffin tops all rolled into one. Needless to say the kids were all a little scandalized and I told them to look away. The saddest part would have to be that they have pretty much ruined Abba's "Dancing Queen" for me. (The kids are all convinced that Dancing queen is from Lady GaGa now. AY!)

After a while a middle aged woman in a breathy voice introduced her group and described act as a mode of expression "celebrating the beauty of women" through empowerment or whatever...I wasn't paying too much attention.

A few minutes later while we were eating away from the stage the Conqueror turns to me, irate, and says, "She was talking about the beauty of women. But what about the fact we're made in the image and likeness of God? She forgot about that part didn't she mom?" I was floored. Here's a kid who connected the dots and God bless his innocence. I just answered that a lot of people don't realize they are made in the image and likeness of God and it is up to us to teach them how much God loves them. Anyway, I felt like I was getting through somehow.

I was just telling P. that sometimes, on so many different levels, I feel like I am in the middle of the story "The Emperor has no Clothes." I can only hope my kids will be strong enough to call it like it is as they grow older and be that little kid on the side of the parade route.

From the Papa

2010-09-19T23:05:00.002-04:00

Lovely words:

Finally, I would like to say a word to you, my dear young Catholics of Scotland. I urge you to lead lives worthy of our Lord (cf. Eph 4:1) and of yourselves. There are many temptations placed before you every day – drugs, money, sex, pornography, alcohol – which the world tells you will bring you happiness, yet these things are destructive and divisive.

There is only one thing which lasts: the love of Jesus Christ personally for each one of you. Search for him, know him and love him, and he will set you free from slavery to the glittering but superficial existence frequently proposed by today’s society. Put aside what is worthless and learn of your own dignity as children of God. In today’s Gospel, Jesus asks us to pray for vocations: I pray that many of you will know and love Jesus Christ and, through that encounter, will dedicate yourselves completely to God, especially those of you who are called to the priesthood and religious life. This is the challenge the Lord gives to you today: the Church now belongs to you!

Amen!

The more you know...............

2010-09-18T09:59:00.002-04:00

In case we aren't FB friends I think all moms and dads should know about this stuff. The scariest thing is that there are children's sites that are run by pornographers...ok only 1 verified but it makes perfect sense. They are tracking kids' every move.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703904304575497903523187146.html?mod=WSJ_hpp_LEADNewsCollection

Tell all your friends!

In which I contemplate home schooling....

2010-09-15T18:25:00.003-04:00

I often dream up a blog where I say all the nasty things I think about things...where I go off making rude comments to people that I dream up after they've been rude to me etc. But then I think that no cannonizable saint would have any such blog and I abandon the idea of some commando blog. That being said I still feel there are times when I need to vent. This is one such time. I can't do it on Facebook because I know I will offend some people so here goes.

I HATE THE SCHOLASTIC BOOK FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I get pressured into buying books to earn money for my school...I can find a *few* decent books but most of them are CRAP. Let me give you a few of the "excellent" selections hightlighted in the flier sent home to entice me to spend my money:

"Girls Acting Catty"- oh yeah we really need this one at school. I think girls don't really need a book explaining it.

"Taylor Swift: Her Song" and "Justin Bieber: His World"- Look I have got bad news for anyone who thinks that their kid is going to love reading if they get hooked reading about Justin Bieber. It isn't going to happen. If you give kids junk to read they are going to think reading is a waste of their time. Please stop the madness. Most of the other books are tie-ins for tv shows and I would say half have the word "booger" in the title. Ok, not really, but you get the idea.

I really wish I could have some sort of other fundraiser and raise money for our school library some other way. I really feel like just refusing to participate this year and not buying anything. I will just donate some books to the library I think are good. I know I am a bit of a book snob but parents need to be aware and promoting what their kids read in the same way they are concerned about what they watch on tv or browse on the web. There's SO MUCH uplifiting, interesting things children's literature out there I don't think we really need any more on Justin Bieber. Just saying.

And if you are interested in this topic here's another blog to peruse:
http://catholicbookreview.blogspot.com/

Thank you for letting me get this off my chest.

Little Miss Sunshine

2010-09-15T18:23:00.001-04:00

Biki woke up early and came in squinting.

"Is there anything you want to say to me this morning?" I asked hoping for a birthday greeting.

"Humph...when's Friday?"

You might be a ham if....

2010-09-12T21:51:00.002-04:00

you make everyone laugh by belching suddenly and loudly at the dinner table and then crack a big smile because you can't really talk. You are an ever bigger ham if you then try to recreate the moment by 'fake burping' multiple times rather inadequately. It might not sound like a burp at all, more like a guttural grunt, but your point gets across to your adoring fan club and they laugh uproariously each time until told to stop by that mean old mom who ruins all your fun.

Remembering.............a work in progess

2010-09-10T18:31:00.002-04:00

I can't believe it has been nine years. I look back and I can remember it like it was yesterday. I hear people down here eulogizing it and I can't help but think that they have no idea what it was like. I know, I know that sounds so ridiculous since I was in no way immediately affected by it. Still, I feel my life was changed forever that day. I was not at the epicenter but I was close enough to be afraid, very afraid.

The Conqueror is old enough to ask about it now and so I have told him the story a few times, modified for his earnest self. I don't want him to be paranoid like his mother.

We had been married exactly a month to the day. I was in class that morning. It was a beautiful sunny day. Unbeknownst to be I was in the early stages of pregnancy with the Conqueror. I was to find about him 10 days later. Before class started we were aware tha a plane had hit We were in class and people on their laptops started whispering. I could see pictures

Gotta make dinner....and can't figure out how to save a draft

Terms of Endearment Gone Wrong.....

2010-09-10T08:47:00.003-04:00

Biki on passing by me and the girls after mass....
"Hi Fatsos!"

A bunch of women turned around and asked me, "Did she just say Fatso?"

Umm, yes, yes she did. Around here "Come here fatso and give me a kiss!" is what we say to babies and little kids. Perhaps it is time to reassess.

Snippets....

2010-09-06T14:52:00.002-04:00

Beanieisms (because that's why you check this site out anyway):

1. "I am a butter-holic!"
2. She's obsessed with the fact that Jesus on the cross isn't wearing a shirt. She talks about going to heaven and is concerned about meeting a shirtless Jesus. The other day I overheard her speaking to a crucifix, "Dear Jesus in heaven, please get a shirt on in heaven. Oh please!"

And from the Biki on Labor Day:
"When I was little I thought that this day was about moms having babies."

That about sums up life around here I would say.

The diamond of great dollar value....not to be confused the pearl of great price

2010-08-28T23:01:00.004-04:00

I lost my engagement diamond. The setting had gotten loose and I brought it to a local jewler who replaced all my prongs for $127. I got it back the day before my 9th anniversary. It was clean and beautiful and sparkly...and I was attached to it. (That would be the opposite of detached.)

Then, two weeks and 1 day later I noticed that it was loose again. I was driving afternoon carpool with 7 rowdy kids in the car (no..they aren't all mine) and I made a mental note to take the ring off as soon as I got home. Well, the usual chaos ensued and I forgot. Not only did I forget to take my ring off I but I proceeded to garden, take out all the trash and recycling, break down cardboard boxes, do dishes, laundry, snuggle each kid into their beds, clean up the kitchen, make myself a bowl of ice cream because I felt sorry for myself that my husband was working late and then sweep the floor while talking to my aunt on west coast time only to realize THEN my diamond was gone. I frantically searched until 11:30 at night to no avail.

I have to admit I took it all pretty well if I do say so myself. (P. agrees!) It was insured, I was trying to be detached yada, yada, yada. I was fine until the jewler made me cry when I tried to get my money back for the repairs. "What did you do? You broke off 3 prongs...that took something." I just stared him down and said I just did the same job I have been doing for nine years and I lost my diamond two weeks after he "fixed" my ring. Needless to say I got my money back.

I planned on giving it the weekend before calling the insurance company to see about making a claim seeing as that bad boy was the most expensive thing we owned for many years! Well, we were bumming around the house this evening and P. took out the rest of the ice cream to have a bowl (it was his half since I had eaten mine solo the other night.) He's sitting there eating his B&J Half Baked when he bites down and goes "OWWW!" He pulls something out of his mouth and asks..."is this your diamond?" Why yes, yes it is.

Needless to say we are very thankful and rather amused. He's been praying to St. Anthony and I had decided to ask this little favor of Fr. Joseph...so we'll see who gets the credit!! The kids are going to think this is hilarious, even if Biki does complain she didn't get any ice cream.

All's well that ends well! Maybe we can win some sort of contest from B&J for that story! : )

Commandment Catechesis

2010-08-23T10:58:00.002-04:00

Sometimes at prayers we go over the 10 commandments for an examination of conscience. All 6 of us were in the room together and by the end of it I was weeping from trying so hard not to bust a gut laughing. Some of the highlights:

*The Conqueror kept beginning each commandment with "God shall not...." Uh, not exactly.

*Honor you mother and father evolved into a tangent of whether certain parties would rather belong to other mothers instead of the ones they were given by God. We weren't really getting anywhere but the non sequiter on the subject came from the Conqueror again...something along the lines of, "Well, yeah because we would be the Joses or something." Why do my kids end their statements with something? I must do that.

But the best one come from Biki on "Thou shall not bear false witness." When asked what a lie was she exclaimed "I do!" and then in one hurried breath gave the following example:

It is like when mom has a chocolate bar and eats it and then someone smells chocolate and asks was that a chocolate bar and Mom says no...THAT'S A LIE!"

Ok, for the record, I usually just don't answer. I really don't think I lie. Let's be honest, I know they are smart enough to figure it out.

There's a reason they have to reach the age of reason...

2010-08-16T21:36:00.002-04:00

There was an 'incident' this evening involving beads all over the floor. It could have been Beanie, it could have been Momo. Beanie was sitting at the table next to it drawing, not her normal behavior after doing something wrong. Anyway, she obviously had seen it or watched Momo do it without calling the alarm because there was some serious guilt when confronted with the situation.

During interrogation by Dad the following ensued:
"Beanie did you do that?"
"No." she answered not entirely convincing anyone.
"Well then who did it?"
"Maybe it was some weirdo....(pause)....or something."

***
Weirdos are the people we look for in public restrooms etc. just so you know.

You know you are a Catholic when......

2010-08-10T21:41:00.001-04:00

Your one year old attempts to make the sign of the cross after dipping her hand in the toilet bowl. Oh yes. At least it was clean!

My 1 year old...

2010-08-10T14:19:00.001-04:00

sounds like the seagulls from "Finding Nemo." No joke.

Brave new world....

2010-08-10T08:58:00.002-04:00

While I don't think counselors should be proselytizing on the job and do think they need to be able to counsel everyone no matter their orientation I was horrified when I read the article below:
http://chronicle.augusta.com/news/education/2010-08-10/asu-denies-claims-made-student?v=1281407144

The part that scared me the most was the dean of the school talking about what was unethical: "(T)he unethical part (was) applying your own personal beliefs and values on other people and not truly accepting that others can have different beliefs and values that are equally valid as your own." (Emphasis mine.)

No. I even looked up the word valid in the dictionary. Won't work. I believe there's an objective moral order people.....and I can love people and treat them with the respect they deserve but that DOES NOT MEAN I THINK THEY ARE RIGHT. In fact, to quote the catechism, I can think they are "disordered" and still love them. I am thinking that wouldn't pass the 'validity' test. Hmmmm.

Ok, just had to get this off my chest.

Coincidence?

2010-08-09T23:01:00.002-04:00

I think not.

First go read this....
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2300573/estrogen_levels_in_water_alarm_scientists.html?cat=58

and then go read this.....
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704268004575417442626829952.html?KEYWORDS=puberty

This week's virtue: HOPE.

(Sorry...I am on a bit of a downer....we start school Wednesday.)

Scenes from a roadtrip....

2010-08-06T13:11:00.002-04:00

I was telling P. that road tripping is like labor. It is hell to experience and you wonder how you ever got yourself into that situation but eventually you recover and can imagine putting yourself through it again. Besides, family is worth it. Watching my kids interact with great grandparents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins of all degrees is worth it. Just don't be offended if we don't get back in the car for a couple of months.

Time of departure-4:45am. First time I heard "are we there yet?"- 4:52am. No joke. Remind me that I find 3 year olds amusing.
Time from St. Louis to Chicago in the car- 8 hours. Next time we get AAA.
Days we got to go to the beach- 6!!!! We were all sporting awesome tans.
Days Momo slept in past 10am-3. (Of course Momo was up late than 10 every night too!)
Cousins met- countless. My kids couldn't even remember all their names. Beanie just kept saying, "And these are all my cousins? YES!"

My favorite post vacation story involved Biki talking about some cousin. "What was her name honey?" "I have no idea but she wore a green suit with polka dots. Her mom played the mole." That allowed me to zero in on the cousin's name. Anyway Biki was impressed with said cousin because "she had a pocket knife." "Really? Did she bring it to the beach?" I asked with a bit of worry, she was only 5 after all. "No but she said she had one because she said she wasn't afraid of sharks 'cause if she saw one she'd just cut off its tail with her pocket knife." Bik was duly impressed. Never mind there are no sharks in Lake Michigan. I wonder what else the kids talked about on the beach every day.

Get well soon!

2010-07-14T13:38:00.003-04:00

Dear Swagger Wagon,

You've been gone getting fixed for over two weeks. At first I really missed you because I hated the little Ford Explorer they had me driving. But then last week they told me to return the Explorer for another car. They gave me a black Suburban with leather seats. Leather!! (Did I mention there was dual climate control too and automatic seats?)

You know what? Now I feel guilty because I don't miss you as much. The kids all keep saying they don't miss you either. I fear you are being erased from our memory. Come home soon so we can repair our relationship. Don't worry, I know this is all temporary. Hopefully we'll have a nice long trip together to Michigan next week.

Till death or seven kids do we part!

Where the lion lays down with the lamb.

2010-07-14T13:37:00.003-04:00

Beanie is feeling the loss of the old family pet. She told me today that when she gets to heaven she's going to sit next to Jesus, Seamus, and Madeline.

Life with girls means....

2010-07-10T09:06:00.002-04:00

Having your 1 year old daughter shepherded into you with a tutu over her pajamas and a bow in her hair and then being told, "We named her princess."

She didn't seem to mind for the moment.

Busy!

2010-07-07T09:23:00.002-04:00

I am too busy living and surviving life to blog about it. But....can someone (anyone?) reassure me that almost 15 month olds acting like crazed psychos with their four canine teeth coming in and no other symptoms WILL get better and stop fussing all the time and stop, at least when they are 5, jumping on tables and stop destroying stuff and stop taking a small nap early in the day and then refusing to nap later and other such things? Thank you because I have lost all perspective.

My daughter is going to like Plato's thoughts on music's effects on the soul......

2010-06-30T08:29:00.003-04:00

File this one under 'astute observer'. My daughter Biki is a smart one and she's constantly trying to figure out why we do things differently then the culture at large. Well, I don't really want to live in a hole and try to engage the culture where we can without letting the crapola in. Let's just say sometimes my flirtations with popular culture don't go very well.

I like to listen to the radio and I was thumbing through the stations at a light yesterday and came upon a song with a catchy beat and let it stop. Turns out it was Beynoce's "All the Single Ladies" which I knew from the refrain..."If you like it you better put a ring on it...woah, woah, woah, woah, woah." (That's for you older readers! : ) Anyway I start to sing along and mentally make a note that there's nothing bad with these lyrics. Then I hear Biki from the back of the minivan.

"Mom?"
"Yes."
"This music sounds like the girls aren't wearing appropriate clothes."
"Hmmm, you are probably right Bik. Let's turn it off."

And so we did...and there probably won't be any more Beyonce in the car either! Even if it is a catchy song.

Heard around the house...

2010-06-24T18:37:00.002-04:00

Me: Why is this baby doll wet?
Them: Beanie baptized it.
(I knew there was a reasonable explanation.)

Me: Who did this (some mess or other)?
Them: It wasn't me Chad. (pronounced shod for those not of Falk lineage.)

And just for fun I thought you should all know that Momo is a ridiculous ham. I am in so much trouble. Today at mass she was out behind the glass doors but would run where her brother and sisters could see her with a cardigan on her head like a hijab in order to elicit laughs...from the children who were supposed to be in mass paying attention. She also ran into mass for the handshake of peace saying "pees, pees" in a baby voice holding out her hand.

And to top it off I heard great laughter from the siblings during dinner and looked over at her to see her drinking a cup of water with all her pizza and carrots stuffed in it . When she realized she had done something funny she started hamming it up even more...scrunching up her nose, clapping for herself, dancing in her chair. Like I said....TROUBLE.

Will the swagger wagon survive?

2010-06-23T22:39:00.001-04:00

Thank God we were all unhurt! Safety glass is an amazing invention!!!

Facebook is awkward.

2010-06-19T16:44:00.003-04:00

I have a love/hate relationship with FB.

I gave it up for lent and that gave me a litle bit of perspective on it. The pros- it is an excellent networking tool and allows me to be in contact with people that I wouldn't otherwise have been in contact with. I have connected like minded people across the globe through the wonders of the FB universe. It also has a fun everyday element of chatting with the girls in cyberspace, but it has a dark side.

On the one hand there's the elementary school problem of making declarations and posting pictures of events to which others aren't invited. That doesn't really bother me too much unless it is totally gratuitous. It is one thing to post pictures and another to say "I can't wait to have a party with 5 of my FB friends." and then have them all comment on it. AWKWARD.

What has really got me is the issue/problem of FB friend apostelate. I don't usually seek people's opinions out on matters of church doctrine and moral conscience and I have a feeling that my views are known somehow anyway. But I wonder...what are my obligations when people who profess my same faith constantly make declarations about issues that are contrary to church teaching. It never comes up in our regular dealings but it seems almost constant in our FB dealings. There's a friend, and then there's a FB friend and let's face it, they aren't quite the same thing. Would they be offended if I brought it up in real life? Like I said, awkward.

File Under I am a bad parent.....

2010-06-05T15:08:00.002-04:00

I jump into the car and yell out, "Oh man, I forgot my keys!" and as I jump back out all I hear from the back of the car is "LOSER!"

Judge not lest ye be judged. I know where they learned it from.

Tummy Trouble

2010-06-05T15:01:00.002-04:00

We are having some tummy trouble around here. Nobody's sick, but one little person has a very opinionated tummy that tells her what she can and can't eat or do. It is very frustrating.

"Bean, time to pick up toys."
"Wah....I can't pick up toys my tummy hurts."
"Stop whining and pick up toys."
"My tummy says it is too tired to pick up toys."

OR

"My tummy says it doesn't like corn."
"Tell your tummy it has to eat the corn."
Then she starts having her tummy talk in this tiny voice, "I don't like corn."
"Too bad, and take two bites."

Needless to say we've been giving her tummy numerous talking tos. It also needs a few time outs!!

And another Beanism just for fun.
The Bodeans were playing on itunes and she was sitting in front of the computer and just starts yelling out, "Oh no!!!! He's in trouble again!" with her hands on her face ala Home Alone. "What, who's in trouble??" yell out all the other kids and she just replies, "Oh nobody, it is just a song." That kid loves the shock factor.

H...e....double hockey sticks

2010-05-26T07:34:00.003-04:00

Can I just admit I am feeling a lot like this these days??? A trip to the pool with two sweet boys age 8 and 13 will do that to me, combined with a little too much healthy radio addiction (Hello...turn it off!), Greece, and a ton of other stuff. Good thing there's prayer and such. I get like this sometimes, a little crazed let's just say, and my dear husband is smart enough to just let it slide. When I say things like, "I change my mind, I don't care if my kids drown, I want my own pool!" He just says "OK." and lets it go. Smart man.

Anywho, summer is here and we are excited! We'll be doing a bit of homeschooling to keep up our skills! That's our favorite phrase for some reason it just works magic in making my kids work on academic stuff...they must have their mother's competitive streak. Next week includes swim lessons, but not before an exciting cousin visit. Then a long overdue trip to NOVA to see the fam.

Beanie wants to go to California so she can see her cousins S. and C. because she thinks they live there together, never mind that she's never seen those two cousins from two different places and sides of the family at the same time. She also wants to know when she can stay in a hotel and get "breakfast food". It is amazing what kids remember and how they remember it.

Diamonds might be a girl's best friend....

2010-05-19T10:05:00.001-04:00

but this woman's BFFs are prayer, coffee, and eyeliner in that order!

Coming soon...

2010-05-15T22:37:00.001-04:00

a post on the minivan as metaphor for the soul. (And it has nothing to do with the swagger wagoon!)

Birthday Boy

2010-05-15T22:06:00.002-04:00

I am now the proud parent of an 8 year old. This is big....I remember being 8 years old. This really means I have to stop trying to fake this parenting stuff and had better start getting it for real!!! I love how he still thinks he's getting bigger with every birthday and insists he didn't turn 8 until 1am last night because that's when he was really born. I also love how he's such a team player and is, for the most part, really good to all of his sisters. In return, they are good to him. They just sat watching him hit golf balls today and I just kept hearing, "Good shot birthday boy!" It is good to remember those times that they are all actually getting along.

He's all boy...loved his archery set but was excited about a little play hamster too. I am happy there's still so much innocence in him because I know that's hard to come by these days. I think other little boys he knows seem to have, sad to say, lost their imaginations, so I am glad he still has his. I love how he belly laughs at story time...Mrs. Piggle Wiggle can bring him to tears.

Did I mention he finally got a hit in baseball the other night? Not only was it a hit, but a RBI AND he made it to home. Just what the doctor ordered after a long string of KOs and foul balls. I loved hearing him explain it to everyone in an excited tone. Reminds me to be thankful for the little things!

Rough day at the office...

2010-05-15T16:54:00.004-04:00

Today's events included a baseball practice a lunch date and a trip to the driving range with 5 kids. Sometimes I forget that I am actually just better off NEVER leaving my house with all of my children much less an extra one, particularly when P. is out of town.

You would not believe the looks I was getting at the driving range. In exasperation at one point I let them all go to the practice sand pit to try out their pitching wedges while I kept the baby at the whole other end of the range with all our stuff. What could go wrong right? Wrong. They weren't in my line of sight totally and all of a sudden I hear the starter yell, "Hey watch what you are doing you are going to hit someone!" That was the end of that. Yes, today I was *that* mom, the harried lady who bit off more than she could chew. But it was worth it when the birthday boy turned to his buddy and said, "Wow!!! That was fun wasn't it?" at the end of it all.

Minivans are cool....

2010-05-11T22:15:00.003-04:00

No seriously. Really!!! This made me laugh so hard that I had to share. Thanks for sharing Sara! I love how Toyota totally knows their market.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql-N3F1FhW4&feature=player_embedded

If your filter blocks youtube like mine does it is totally worth pulling it down temporarily! : )

Fierce Baby's Feast

2010-05-04T22:40:00.002-04:00

So, I put all the plates on the table with the food on them already when Paul isn't at dinner. Tonight I sit down and immediately start grace, bowing reverently because you know I am so good and all. Anyway, we finish and I try to start eating only to see that my brat, complete with bun, has been swiped by Momo who is chomping away at it. This after she had already eaten a half of brat!!! She just looked up and smiled as if to say, "Yummy! Good stuff!" I guess she is in touch with her German side!

Who says big kids aren't funny?

2010-04-25T16:02:00.003-04:00

Overheard from Biki:

"What is this? Oh, a block! I though it was something else. What was I smoking?"
(I have no idea where she picked up such a phrase! ; )

And from the Conqueror:

We were at the dinner table somehow talking about the advent of the Internet and how, way back when, when I started college you had to go and beg for an email account and there were only two computers in the basement of the science lab that had email. As I paused before going on the Conqueror blurts out, "OLD SCHOOL!" Unfortunately we laughed a little too hard and he's been trying to repeat the joke all day.

Thought for the day.

2010-04-19T07:18:00.000-04:00

From Pope Benedict's trip to Malta:
"Maybe some of you will say to me, Saint Paul is often severe in his writings. How can I say that he was spreading a message of love? My answer is this. God loves every one of us with a depth and intensity that we can hardly begin to imagine. And he knows us intimately, he knows all our strengths and all our faults. Because he loves us so much, he wants to purify us of our faults and build up our virtues so that we can have life in abundance. When he challenges us because something in our lives is displeasing to him, he is not rejecting us, but he is asking us to change and become more perfect. That is what he asked of Saint Paul on the road to Damascus. God rejects no one. And the Church rejects no one. Yet in his great love, God challenges all of us to change and to become more perfect."

What does it all mean...the fashion edition?

2010-04-16T09:13:00.002-04:00

I have been trying to attack problem areas of my home over the last few weeks. The other day I was working in my closet and hanging up all of my shirts since I do not own a dresser. I even channeled a few of my old roomies and hung them by color. Do you know what I noticed? Every single shirt was solid color, no prints, no dots, no stripes. I later found one shirt in the laundry that I just bought that has some blue ovals on it but that's it. I have a serious aversion to horizontal stripes but other than that I have not made any conscious decision to limit prints. Hmmm... I must be getting old!

The Birds....

2010-04-14T22:48:00.002-04:00

Ok, I am bit behind on chronicling our adventures but I did want to let everyone know we had a bird in our house and I got him out all by myself. Last time I dealt with a bird I was about 10 and I called over my nice neighbor Mr. Pepple who grabbed a dish towel, threw it over Buddy the budgie (we were so awesome at naming things) and promptly returned him to captivity.

This time, it was a WILD bird. I was in the kitchen and heard a bump at the window and thought a bird had hit the window like usual. But as I look up it happens again and I realize that it was on the INSIDE. I yelped.

The kids reactions varied from fear (oh no a bird!) to excitement (oh cool a bird!) to rage (get out of here you bird!). Long story short it perched itself up in my open kitchen cupboard and was chirping at us from behind the medicine basket. (Don't worry mom, I disinfected afterwards.) The kids were screaming at it to leave and I convinced them we couldn't catch it or kill it (that wasn't my idea...guess who grabbed a weapon though- Biki!) but that we'd have to trick it to leave through one of the doors. It was so weird to see it perched in my kitchen chirping at me, it was like he was talking to us. Anyway, we gradually got it into the laundry room and opened the two doors to the outside and it left. Or so I think. Either that or its dead behind my washer. I don't have the guts to check.

Still waters run deep.

2010-04-11T22:32:00.002-04:00

Biki likes to spend a lot of time alone. It gets so that she tries to bribe Beanie to get away from her. Beanie will come running into me and ask for candy. When I say no she gets upset and it comes out that Biki told her that she could have candy if she left her alone. Nice try.

Anyway, I always wonder what Biki is thinking about alone. She tends to sit on the bench on the deck and stare out at the trees, often hugging our outdoor statue of Mary. (I did snap a photo...I just have to get the camera fixed so I can transfer pics.) I am beginning to think that she does some praying out there all alone because today I had this conversation with her:

"Bik, is Momo out there on the deck all alone?"
"No."
"Really?" I ask not really believing her.
"Yes, she's got her guardian angel and God."

Right! Why didn't I think of that!!!

More career aspirations from my daughters.....

2010-04-04T15:47:00.002-04:00

As mentioned previously, one of my daughters wants to be a barista. The other it turns out has higher aspirations.

"Mom?"
"Yes, Beanie?"
"When I grow up I am going to be a teacher and a rock star."
"OK, how do you plan to meld those two careers?"
"After school I will change into my rock star clothes and be a rock star."

All this coming from the child who has never seen a single episode of Hannah Montana or anything else on the Disney channel. Ever. I suppose if the rock star clothes are modest and the lyrics OK it is all sanctifiable right?

Deep thoughts...

2010-03-30T08:52:00.001-04:00

Beanie: "Mom, when I get to heaven I'm not going to snuggle up with you."

Me: "Ok Beanie, why not?"

Beanie: "Because I am going to snuggle up to Jesus."

Sweetness.

File under after 4 kids I should know better....

2010-03-29T21:44:00.003-04:00

Bathroom break after mass.

Baby is changed, Beanie is in the stall, I put the baby down in front of the 'nursing chair'. (you know the nasty one they put in church bathrooms for women to sit and nurse in.) No thanks...I can't nurse in a bathroom. GROSS.

Anyway, I put the baby down b/c I had no carrier and decided I needed to go as well. I am in there and I hear these weird splashing noises. AND I AM SO STUPID THE FIRST THINK I AM THINKING IS THAT THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH BEANIE'S ELIMINATION PATTERNS. Yes, that was stupid. Because it was really Momo who somehow got past me and made it to the last stall where she was bathing in the handicapped toilet. YUCK.

I keep telling P. I am going to audition for Dirty Jobs!

On being #4.....

2010-03-25T18:09:00.002-04:00

I think having a critical mass of older siblings probably makes one a bit of a performer or pleaser in some way. Miss Momo loves her audience. She starts beaming the minute they arrive in the minivan after school and seeks them out often. My favorite activity includes her walking attempts. Every time she takes a step her entourage breaks out into a chorus of "YEAH MOMO!" cheers and claps. Thus whenever she gets up to take a step she starts, stops, and then puts her hands together to clap for herself. I guess she figures that's how you are supposed to do it!

Uhh....not exactly

2010-03-21T19:01:00.002-04:00

A conversation I just couldn't bear to interfere with:

Beanie: "I like to play on the palm puder."

Biki: "That's not how you say it. It's a kinputer. Say it like this, 'KIN-PUTE-ERH'."

Beanie: "No, I like palm puder."

Biki: "No its a KIN-PUTE-ERH." Say it right!

Do you like the graphic?

2010-03-14T22:54:00.001-04:00

Since we don't do photos that's as good as it gets!

H/T MG....hope you don't mind I copied you!

Mixed Message

2010-03-13T07:50:00.003-05:00

When I am going to get married again is always a big topic of conversation after every wedding we go to. Seems the girls just want to get in on another party and figure they're a shoe-in for flower girls. They are always sort of disappointed to realize that I am, indeed, already married and won't even consider getting married again short of P.'s untimely death.

So, Beanie and I were waiting at the doctor's the other day and she announces, loudly, "If you get married again, um, um, um, Daddy's going to die!"

Not exactly.....

Future Hoarder?

2010-03-11T21:38:00.004-05:00

Beanie loves to pack up little purses and bags with things and drag them around the house and elsewhere if permitted. Today she had her little sister's tea party set bag filled to the brim and was carrying it around like a purse slung just so over her shoulder. I had to see what she had in there and this is what I found:

a couple of pieces of the fabric tea set- a mug and saucer and the teapot
a mostly empty bag of craisins
a bag of princess wipes
a tire gauge
2 travel bottles of travel hand lotion, courtesy of aunt k.
a baby Tylenol bottle
a pen
tinker toys
a doll baby blanket
a nail clippers (she cuts her own nails daily while her older siblings are afraid!)
a colored pencil
another small blanket, this one with a little giraffe on it.
some stars and shapes from a stacking toy and a sorting toy we have
the weekly calendar sent home from first grade with the week's activities, assignments, and subjects studied

Whew...I am tired just thinking about lugging all that stuff around. Oh wait, my purse is worse!!!Anyway, thought I would give a bit more insight into the secret life of bean.

OB-Inside Baseball

2010-03-04T12:35:00.002-05:00

We were discussing the "OB" language at dinner the other night, which, for those not in the know, is a lot like pig latin. Anyway, I was telling the conqueror that my name would be pronounced "Mah-bom" in OB. Then he seriously starts singing, "My mom's a bomb, I got more verses than the bible's got psalms!" Yes, my seven year old sings lines from House of Pain's "Jump Around". I guess it could be worse...he could be singing "Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight" from Abba. I mean, what kind of adults would kids who sang that turn into?

Thought for the day....

2010-03-03T13:51:00.003-05:00

How in the h-e-double hockey sticks did I manage to use liquid cascade for a year and half without messing up any of my clothes? Did you know it has liquid bleach in it? No, I didn't know either but in the last week I have wrecked one sweater and now 2, count them, two pairs of nice fitting pants with it. I think it has something to do with wearing a baby and trying not to bend over too much while filling the dishwasher. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Bring on the powdered cascade!

Megnanimity

Long overdue Momoisms.

Bean Dream

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire.

D-Day dedication

t-minus 2 to 4 days

Pop Quiz- Crazy Pregnant Lady Edition

I sense a pattern.

O.bama as theologian

Fast Friday (because I am too busy for the real thing)

Little Miss Sunshine

Rebel Mom

Summer is going awesome...sort of.

Delusions of Grandeur

No B.S.!!!!!!!!!!

Just one of the kids....

Man oh Man!

Sanity Fail!

The Limits of Christian Charity?!?!

Cynic.

Because I am one of those people who only posts cutesy kids stuff.

Let the dreams begin....

Not getting it....

Rant

Testing

Let me 'splain....no it is too much. Let me sum up.

I've created a southerner...

Stop the madness.

22 months!

Momo-isms: The First Installment

Good wife/ Bad wife

Wordless Wednesday

SNOW 2011

Snapshot

Bottom of the Barrell

The Grinch

Scenes from the food warehouse

Road Trip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Bern.stein Bears and too much P.B.S.kids.org

Things I never thought I would ever have to say:

The Fam*ly C*rcus

The Princess Diaries

Homecoming...

Choose your own adventure....

Lions and Tigers and Bears...oh my!

7 Quick Takes

Wolf scouts!

You're stretching kid.

How quickly they forget....

Hitting the wall....

Who cooks for y'all????

PHOTOS!

A wow moment.

From the Papa

The more you know...............

In which I contemplate home schooling....

Little Miss Sunshine

You might be a ham if....

Remembering.............a work in progess

Terms of Endearment Gone Wrong.....

Snippets....

The diamond of great dollar value....not to be confused the pearl of great price

Commandment Catechesis

There's a reason they have to reach the age of reason...

You know you are a Catholic when......

My 1 year old...

Brave new world....

Coincidence?

Scenes from a roadtrip....

Get well soon!

Where the lion lays down with the lamb.

Life with girls means....

Busy!

My daughter is going to like Plato's thoughts on music's effects on the soul......

Heard around the house...

Will the swagger wagon survive?

Facebook is awkward.

File Under I am a bad parent.....

Tummy Trouble

H...e....double hockey sticks

The Famly Crcus